Chasing a sunrise

I didn’t have a great night’s sleep last night. I had a lot on my mind and kept turning memories over and over. However – whilst I think it’s important to take time to feel and process what I was feeling I also think that there’s no mileage in disappearing into a sea of misery … More Chasing a sunrise

Productive Sunday

Although I’m used to filling my day with things to do, sometimes it hits me just how much I can fit in now that I’m no longer wiped out after just waddling to my car and back. After my less than stellar result on the scales yesterday I decided to go for it today and … More Productive Sunday

Exposed foundations

Last night I had a vivid nightmare.  In this lucid (partially waking) waterfall of subconscious fears I had rented my home to a close friend. I’d done this in the hope that it would be looked after in my absence.  I can’t remember where it was that I’d gone or indeed how long I’d been … More Exposed foundations

Boiling the ocean

After I wrote yesterday’s blog I started thinking about my early posts. As I’ve said a few times before here, although I love that people enjoy reading my blogs I do (maybe somewhat selfishly) write them primarily for myself. Lately I’ve also realised that I’ve started to use writing like other people use sudoku – … More Boiling the ocean

Walnut cheeks

If I’m honest I’ve been in a bit of a grump today. Outwardly this (I think) wouldn’t have been apparent – but deep down I know I’ve not been firing on all cylinders.  I also know why.  I joked to a friend the other day that if I were to text her a picture of … More Walnut cheeks

Falling pianos

Something that I (shamefully) used to say to close friends and relatives was that I fully expected to die in the very near future, and that I was resigned to never reaching a pensionable age. The odds related to my weight seemed to support my often bleak approach to life and I was in retrospect … More Falling pianos

The thought

If yesterday proved anything to me it was that just when I think I have a handle on life – and that I’m sorted and happy – a chance thought comes along, yanks the rug out from under me and leaves me feeling profoundly blue. Yesterday morning I felt like I was on top of the world and … More The thought

Feeling lots better

I’m currently revelling in two different kinds of little miracles – the first as old as time and the latter a far more recent thing. Firstly – sleep. Ohmyflippingwordhowmuchbetterdoestheworldlookwhenyou’vehadsomesleep???!!!! It’s fair to say that some (but not all) of my darker moments in the past week can be traced back to the doorstep of an … More Feeling lots better

Large chopper

I hate to say it but this week (and today in particular) I’m struggling a bit.  This afternoon I’m looking around me and I’m feeling a muted sense of anger about almost everything. Feeding this even further is an irritation because I know it’s unreasonable and out of proportion.  Nothing apart from the fact that … More Large chopper

Pity party

It’s not rained for a while. Not properly anyway, meaning that dirt track walks have suddenly dried out and extra bits of the countryside have become accessible.  I’ve continued my slightly ambitious walking schedule this week and maybe explored a little more than usual as a consequence. When muddy paths aren’t an issue I’m far … More Pity party

Spring

I think my mood is being affected by my cold as I’ve no other reason to wake up feeling glum. However for some reason I did. Oddly today everything seemed grey when I opened my eyes and my enthusiasm for anything and everything was at rock bottom. Although… now that I think about it – … More Spring

Anniversaries

The 26th and 28th of January are a big days for me – but for very different reasons. Whilst one is cause for celebration the other is not, and both have been playing on my mind for weeks. I need to get my thoughts about these out of my head and onto the page, despite their anniversary still being a few … More Anniversaries

Frosty Jack

Perspective is often the only thing that separates us from feeling depressed and feeling elated. I’m sure that in 99% of cases it’s simply a choice in life to feel positive or to feel negative – and I continually TRY to choose the former. This morning the sun was shining and even though it was bitterly … More Frosty Jack