In real terms I guess the week food wise has been a success.
After a rather off plan week leading up to last Saturday (while my other half was on holiday) I chose not to weigh in.
This was mostly because I knew I’d gone up a few pounds and also partially related to the fact that Angie was also away on holiday.
I like the variety of guest consultants as much as the next person – but nothing beats your own one when you’re feeling a little vulnerable.
Today Angie was back from holiday, so any semblance of an excuse not to stand on the scales had evaporated.
I had to rip off the band aid.
So far this week I’ve been losing weight – but in an annoyingly gradual way.
Sure – I get it. Losing weight sustainably shouldn’t be a boom and bust activity, and dropping a pound a week still equals 4.5st per year.
If I’m brutally honest a lot of my losses toward the end of my journey came this way – and I’ve played a game for a long time where I ‘sin’ and then ‘repent’.
Lately this behaviour has become more evident than ever and my Slimming World book shows the reality of me eating good some weeks to make up for others that are completely off plan.
On the plus side I only put on half a pound compared to where I was two weeks ago.
I guess I’m not alone in this kind of outcome because when I talk about this type of behaviour in group or to friends I get a lot of knowing nods.
As I helped tidy up after the session this morning I started packing away the new member table – and low and behold there was this sitting in the middle of it – which I’d never seen before.
I’m really proud of that particular photo – but the story behind how it came to be taken and the build up to winning MOTY also represents a significant amount of stress.
I was very aggressively focused on getting to the weight I needed to be that day and in many respects I lost that all important last half a stone completely the wrong way.
The ‘impact’ (if you can call it that because it sounds a little melodramatic) of this has remained with me ever since.
I’ve struggled an awful lot to both maintain the weight that photo represented and also keep up the austere mindset needed to keep eating only just enough to ensure that I didn’t balloon again.
For the whole of the last year I knew that Slimming World were likely to call upon me at any time (and they occasionally did) and if that happened (although I could say no to anything I didn’t really want to because I felt very responsible) I needed to be able to get into my smart clothes!
It was really stressful.
It still is.
I always end up hating myself when I eat like a pig after a period of abstention and then resent having to reign in bad behaviour to once more get to where I need to be.
It’s not a good way to live your life and I don’t want to do things that way any more.
My current drive is to establish a ‘new normal’ where home life involving myself and my significant other is as far from the land of yo-yo comfort eating and snacking as possible.
We both have the capability to do this to ourselves.
Scarily we’re more alike in so many ways than I ever thought possible and sometimes it’s like looking in a mirror.
She’s even a ridiculous geek who loves Pokémon like no other person I know.
When we purchased a copy of the new Nintendo Switch game ‘Let’s Go Pikachu’ yesterday (if ever I needed confirmation) I was immediately reminded that she was the woman of my dreams.
The fact we’re also similar in other areas has the pleasing side effect of us both understanding each other’s positive and negative dietary behaviours, accepting one another for who we are and enables our continually supportive collaboration.
Simply put we don’t allow each other to be negative about ourselves and we absolutely avoid any individual behaviours that may sabotage our mutual efforts to be fitter and healthier versions of who we already are.
There’s no sneaky eating and we never hide wrappers or stuff empty food packets to the bottom of the bin when we’ve been bad.
After all what’s the point?
Honesty needs to be everywhere in a relationship and you can’t expect to get it if you don’t give it in the first place.
Hiding who you truly are is a waste of time and I want us to be stronger together not isolated in the same painful behaviour patterns that have dogged both of us in the past.
For my part I’ve been hard at work making sure that I prepare (and we eat) regular and healthy meals.
This not only benefits us from a health perspective but it also cuts down on food waste on top of saving money.
In fact since my partner moved in my (now our) food bills have remained unchanged – because I was eating huge meals.
Now I’m sharing that same volume of food – meaning that in real terms the household shopping costs are the same but my personal intake has roughly halved (it’s probably closer to 5/8ths of what I was previously consuming) but over the last couple of weeks I’ve also been doing a bit less walking and a lot less swimming.
It’s been a busy time and as well as getting used to living with eachother we’ve still got a lot to do with regard to organising the house.
The latter is changing as of today though because now we both have a swimming subscription, meaning that there’s no excuse not to go for a dip together – which we did immediately after group.
There’s a reason though that I’m focused on this at the moment though – because I still have one thing outstanding related to my Slimming World MOTY title.
In early November (around 10 weeks away) is the 2019 Slimming World Ball – where I officially hand over my 2018 title to the new 2019 winner Ben Muscroft (link).
He looked super svelte in his photo shoot and the very last thing I want is to appear as if things have slipped for me since I last stood on the stage.
In so many respects the pressure is off – but in others it’s just as bad.
I want to look and feel the same way that I did on that day in November last year – and my objective is to gradually chip away at my gains until I’m there.
Keep your fingers crossed Internet! It’s by no means a forgone conclusion!!!
Although if nothing else it will give you all a good reason to come back here to check up on me occasionally as well as leave a supportive comment below!
Until the next blog….