It’s a lovely day.
The sun is shining, the birds are tweeting and I’m already in my shorts and tee shirt.
The day has started early today and I’ve just attended a Slimming World group down south with my partner.
It’s the earliest I’ve ever been to a meeting – and these guys are hardcore because they kick off at 7.30!
I wasn’t actually weighing in myself today – as in SW terms Saturday is the last day of the week.
I weighed last Monday with Angie and although I never got around to writing a post about it the result was that I’d gained 5.5lbs over the 5 weeks since last standing on the scales.
I was sitting 2.5lbs above my target weight at 14st 5.5lbs.
I may have looked at this differently a while back – but in real terms I’m still lighter than when I first hit target in Feb 2018 (14st 7lbs) and I have had a few days (and the remainder of this weekend) to try and pull things around.
The motivation to get back into target so I don’t have to pay for the next meeting is huge (my wallet functions in a similar way to a camel sphincter when faced with a sandstorm) but I’m also more mindful of the fact that in July I have to go to Derby again to hand over the MOTY title to the new 2019 winner.
I want to be an example of someone who hasn’t slipped from grace rather than coming over as a cautionary tale of someone who lost the plot.
The truth is that I’m being flippant though.
I know that’s never going to happen – but in contrast a while back I had no evidence to back it up in my mind (link)
My belief that I wouldn’t slide back into the hell of obesity was based solely on what I had to keep telling myself.
I didn’t know whether or not it was self delusion though – because over and over again since I was born I’d managed to yo-yo up and down in size, and always ended up a little bit bigger than when I started.
Now I have stats that have been gathered over time to back my self belief up and I am certain that after spending nearly a year and a half being exactly where I should be with regard to weight and fitness that I will be this way for the rest of my life.
My fitness wearable also allows me to understand how things have changed – and even now still continue to do so.
I’m maintaining my exercise levels regardless of the fact that I’ve had less time now that I’m working and travelling a lot more.
I do this because it’s important to me – and anyone who wants to get fit and lose weight will do so if they want it enough.
Although I only ever used to walk for my daily exercise I now swim too – and for a while have done so around 15 times a month – meaning that almost every other day I get up, walk to the leisure centre, swim anywhere between 1-1.5km and then go to work.
Usually I also fit in a mile and a half walk at lunchtime (weather permitting) and then a few evenings a week I also go for another longer one.
I’ve not been as restrained as I probably should have been with my eating – but in all honesty recent weeks have been a stressful period with regard to whether my living situation would or would not change.
I had no idea whether or not I’d end up living with my partner in Warwickshire or elsewhere.
Would she get the job nearby that she’d applied for or wouldn’t she? What would it mean if she didn’t?
It’s one of those times in life when there’s nothing at all that you can do to alter the outcome of events. You just have to watch them unfold and hope for the best.
In the meantime the fridge is always capable of offering occasional solace and the store cupboard has recently also stepped in to do some of the heavy lifting.
I’ve had a weakness for crackers, marmite and cheese triangles lately that’s become something of an obsession – and like many of my old eating habits some foods or meals have suddenly and inexplicably occupy my thoughts endlessly and (like any other problem eater) I sometimes feel incapable of resisting when the hunger pangs strike.
As always though even when I’m eating too much I’m eating too much of the right kinds of foods rather than guzzling bottles of wine and hammering down pizzas and kebabs.
The changes regarding my ongoing levels of exercise stand as one of two pillars of personal strength – with the second being what types of foods I now eat.
Although many following slimming world may disagree I feel that this food related strength has been in no small part possible because I don’t do fakeaways and I eat very little processed foods or ready meals.
Although I do have a weakness for artificial sweetener in my coffee, and I love hi-fi and cereal bars pretty much everything else that I consume is made from scratch and completely natural.
This means that when tougher times hit I’m far less likely to do significant damage than I ever used to be.
I no longer treat gains as catastrophic disasters and I recognise that failing is not inevitable.
It’s a choice – and I continually choose not to.
It’s also nice to inspired by my other half – because while I know that many others see me as an inspiration when it comes to weight loss I’m just the same as anyone else.
I struggle all the time with self perception and feelings of guilt or self condemnation.
Going swimming and looking at myself naked in the mirror has never really become something I’m comfortable with – even though I do and accept the reality of both.
Having someone that seems to love the flaws I have whilst at the same time being on their own fitness journey inspires me.
If she can go to weigh in knowing that there’s a gain waiting for her then so can I. Last week she made the difference between me avoiding the task and taking a gain on the chin.
What many who I talk to fail to recognise is that I’d never be inspired or inspiring without people around me doing the same for me.
My partner isn’t the only one.
My blogger friend Hayley for instance inspires me every single day (link).
She’s been moving mountains (but often viewing them as mole hills) to change her life as long as I’ve known her.
Our journeys have been different – but we’re kindred spirits.
I’m proud to have been able to support her walking on her own road to a better life.
She will make an awesome consultant.
So this is why I get up and carry on every day.
I’ve learned from myself and others that failure is a combination of perception and choice. I’ve also come to realise that there’s no way to keep eating the same crap that caused all the problems in the first place and have a different outcome.
I’ve changed and I continue to change.
That means (hopefully) that I will be back in target on Monday.
Even if it doesn’t it then I will be there pretty damn soon and will remain there or thereabouts for the rest of my life.