Saturday has been uncharacteristically sleepy so far.
Thanks to a really late night and waaaaaaay too many cups of tea and coffee in the pub while my colleagues were downing Jaegerbombs I secured a whole two hours sleep – which meant that when I returned home from Slimming World this afternoon and had I bite to eat I pretty much immediately fell asleep in my armchair.
It was a nice thing to happen though.
The rain outside was (and still is) drizzling quietly away – and there wasn’t much to do otherwise.
It was cold out there, and my house was warm – meaning that when I awoke from my nap I felt both refreshed and cosy.
If I’m honest I was also pretty happy.
This is mostly because despite some questionable emotional eating choices during the week it seems that (broadly speaking) I’ve been good enough for the scales to be kind to me.
Of course it’s no accident.
Although I’ve made mistakes and chosen to eat a few things I shouldn’t have I’ve also been filling my slow cooker with speedy soups throughout the week, making salads, eating low calorie fruit in smaller quantities and snacking on speed instead of free food.
When I went out for my leaving meal last night in Ask Italian I also chose a smaller, lighter meal than I could otherwise have gone for.
sure – it had both cheese and garlic bread – but life is for living.
I also had a nice garden side salad with this (not pictured) and it was pretty much the only meal I managed to get around to yesterday – although I did eat quite a bit of fruit from the healthy ‘last day haul’ I purchased for my workmates.
It’s also been rather amusing to see the text chatter today amongst my ex-colleagues about the night out yesterday evening – and the stories of their various hangovers.
They range from the apocalyptic to mildly inconvenient.
Me – I don’t have one at all.
In contrast to this I am genuinely excited to be exactly a month away from 1000 days of sobriety.
What an incredible thing!
It’s so close now – and a life where I was practically unable to live without alcohol seems both distant and unreal.
This post (link) is from March 2016 – and in it I’m still wrestling with the feelings associated with how to categorise my drinking and trying to find coping mechanisms to remain on the straight and narrow.
I’ve since conceded that I was an alcoholic – but back then (before joining Slimming World in April 2016) I wasn’t quite so willing to admit that.
Now everything seems so different and so full of possibilities…
Whilst the world may be filled with rain this recent photo best describes how I currently feel.
Standing on the top of a hill that I’ve painstakingly climbed, enjoying the view and wondering which bit in the distance to go and look at next.
Ultimately anyone can be whoever they want.
They can turn their lives into the image of whatever they visualise in their minds.
Once you believe you can do anything – because whilst flesh may occasionally be weak the most powerful organ in creation is the brain.
If you can convince yourself something is possible (even if you just admit it may be a possibility) then it almost certainly can be.
You only need to start somewhere.
Unless you think you can fly.
I urge you not to try that.
The sudden stop at the bottom is reportedly problematic.