Taking the pressure off myself a bit yesterday resulted in something wonderful.
Beautiful, delightful, invigorating and refreshing sleeeeeeeep.
I was so wrapped up with worry and stress that I hadn’t noticed I wasn’t getting enough of it – and that this was probably layering itself cumulatively on top of other negative thoughts. Somewhere along the way it probably turned into the continuing reason that I felt unable to sort things out in my head as well.
This morning I awoke to the sound of rain – but honestly felt as if somewhere inside me there was a little ray of sunshine – and I lay in bed just listening and feeling quite relaxed. Part of that which came from (broadly speaking) knowing what to expect when I weigh in – which I think I’m going to today.
This morning I checked the final tally of damage without clothes – and then with.
So it looks like I’m set for a 2lb gain on the SW scales – but that’s still within the 3lb margins of maintenance. If I carry on with the right mindset next week I’ll hopefully get myself back to being exactly on target or hopefully slightly under.
I have to admit – in my dark moments last weekend (and honestly it did get surprisingly grim) I was filling my head with thoughts of how I’d piled all my weight back on in the past. A decade or so ago I just started eating and didn’t stop after losing 10st.
I clearly still have the capacity to massively overeat when I’m in the wrong head space – but (and this is a big BUT) I also now have the mindset that I know how to turn it around and I’m don’t run away from dealing with it.
It’s not failure any more, it’s just something I can fix and one bad result on the scales does not confirm all my worst fears. All it does it present a challenge – and that’s one I’ve proven to myself time and time again that not only am I up for but that I can meet it head on AND WIN.
Internet – you don’t know how hard it is for me to remember this fact sometimes and how important it is for me to believe it.
Anyway, enough waffle – I better get ready – time’s a wasting!
(Author gets ready and goes to group)
Well – as always today I was reminded (truthfully no-one needed to tell me this) that when you go to group everything seems better.
I was really happy to see a few faces there that haven’t been for a while too and it’s great to be able to support them the same way that they’ve supported me. Group love is a wonderful thing!
It seems odd to say this – but I had a victory on the scales. I only put on a pound and a half and I’m still in target! Yay!
How odd that this is now cause for celebration?!
It just goes to show that this is all about perspective – not just dropping pounds…
I also took home my group’s Greatest Loser 2018 award today.
Angie then confirmed to the group that she’s entering me for the national competition too – and I could be in with a chance of winning!
It’s amazing what a difference a day makes. Imagine how I’d have felt this morning if I hadn’t tried to turn things around midweek and put the effort in to get back on track?!
Furthermore lets just imagine just for a moment how I’d have felt if I had just carried on eating and said ‘screw it – I no longer care.’
The answer is ‘pretty damn awful’.
Anyway – it’s now raining outside, the sky is grey and it’s cold. It’s not the kind of weather to go out in. The street I live in is deserted apart from recently emptied wheels bins.
So what to do?
Well – GO OUT of course. Continued success doesn’t happen by magic. You have to keep chipping away at it and doing a bit more every day towards it, so I’m going for a walk internet.
Who knows – if you live nearby and look out of your curtains you may just see me skipping along with a spring in my step.
Before I go though I feel I need to make an honourable mention of the ladies today (you know who you are) who made it to group despite (in some cases) feeling more than a bit blue. Instead of staying at home you chose to carry on regardless and surround yourself with friendly faces and people that care.
From your attempts to fill the exercise ring on your fitness devices, to your dealing with hospital emergencies, personal crisis and epic business trips you all still made it to the session.
Regardless of your results and no-matter of how you feel deep down you’re ALL winners in my eyes and you keep me coming back each and every week.
Keep going girls – each day is a brand new one x