I slept like a log last night.
I wasn’t stressed or worried about losing weight at all – which I’m honestly not sure how I feel about. I already miss the anticipation a little bit of getting a new, lower number in my book – because now I have a range to adapt to rather than a target.
There’s a magical 6lb bracket (3lbs either side of 14st 7lbs) that I have to stay within as a Slimming World Target Member and so far this week I think I’ve remained comfortably within this ‘goldilocks zone’.
Although (from a SW perspective ) I suppose really shouldn’t talk about them I’m absolutely chuffed to bits with my decision to buy the Weight Watchers Scales of Ultimate Accuracy the other day. They do exactly what they claim to and it’s been a huge help to finally be able to see the ebb and flow of body weight – rather than avoiding the scales altogether all week long and then nervously rolling my dice on a Saturday with absolutely no idea of what to expect.
You could argue that this takes the point out of going to a group – but honestly the scales alone are no longer my motivation to attend mine.
It’s the people that I go for -and the fact that they keep me focused.
Honestly as far as that focus goes today I really needed it to attend anything because it’s bitterly cold outside.
I’ve kept the heating on in my house pretty much continuously at a low level this week (which is unheard of) mostly because I don’t want any pipes to freeze – but also because I simply cannot take feeling like i’m on the brink of hypothermia anymore.
Thankfully I’m no longer unemployed so I guess I can treat myself to warmth.
(Author goes to group)
Well – if there was ever a confirmation that the scales I bought tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth today reiterated it.
Whilst in nothing but my pants the scales showed the following…
In my weigh in clothes they said…
And at Slimming World the result was…
So – it looks like I have a really useful tool that can enable me (hopefully without getting too obsessed) to make adjustments during the week to my food intake and land at a pre-determined point on the scales at the weekend.
In theory this will result in me getting less stressed overall and losing less sleep – and I’m cautiously optimistic that I can do what’s required to make this a reality.
Honestly I’m still not sure that this is my end weight because there’s still a problem area around my waist that I’m really unhappy with – but I’m not obsessing over it.
My body is now far from perfect and I don’t see that changing any time soon. I’m left with an awful lot of excess bits and bobs and because of these I can’t imagine ever being able to look in the mirror and be truly satisfied with who I am – but for the most part I’m good with that.
I’m fit and healthy and that’s what I focus on.
The things that I’m NOT so good with relate to how (or not) I ever manage to disrobe in front of someone ever again – and that part of the future (should it ever come to pass) fills me with dread.
However I’m not alone in this and that gives me comfort.
Through my writing I’ve come to know a lot of people with their own private battles that are fought (often on a daily basis) over hidden scars (self inflicted or otherwise) that have dogged them on an emotional level throughout their entire lives.
I draw strength from the fact that they’ve been able to work through this and find love when it arrives.
I hope one day I’ll work through this just as they have (and still do).
This is on my mind partially because I’ve been asked by a couple of people to go speed dating with them recently – but honestly I can’t face it. I don’t know how to even begin to mentally approach the subject of romance and for the time being I’d rather not face up that particular demon.
In the meantime there’s lunch to be had.
(Author joins his family for some food at the Fat Bird’s Cafe in Leamington Spa)
Well if nothing else I’ve learned to admire the iron clad digestive tract that one member of my family possesses today. I tried a tiny bit of this frankly apocalyptic sauce on some salad leaves and I have to say that Davey isn’t Ghost Chilli compatible.
I’ve no idea how people eat food with this kind of thing on any more. I used to like it when I was younger, but somewhere along the line I completely lost my tolerance for it. Now it just represents pain and burning rather than nice tasting food.
In contrast my lunch was far more sedate and came with a minted yogurt sauce – which I was quite happy to smother my food with.
I found myself bargaining internally about whether I should have the bread and butter that came on the side of the plate – and ultimately chose to leave it where it was.
I also passed the croutons onto someone else that wanted them.
Although I’m not against carbs (free foods like rice and potatoes are a big part of my meals) the refined nature of white bread and my previous brush with diabetes makes me (possibly very over) cautious about it.
I’ve zero need any more to introduce needless fat or highly processed food like that back into my diet.
Besides – there’s more to it than that. I also have no wish to be bloated by bread – especially when a ridiculously funky and superb quality shirt presents itself in a charity shop.
Who in their right mind would choose a lump of crappy bread over the truly wonderful feeling that picking a LARGE shirt off a rack and knowing that it will fit gives them?
Not me that’s for sure.
If you need me I’ll be looking loud and proud in my new pink check item of clothing.
Yay for maintenance internet. I think I rather like it!