Considering targets

As a few people pointed out both in person and in the comments on my last blog it’s not my usual behaviour to happily take things easy and rest if I get ill or injure myself.

However – after hurting the plantar tendon in my right foot last Sunday I’ve chosen a different course of action to the one I normally would.

Instead of getting up early and walking to work I’ve been getting up early and spending time on my exercise bike before (and I can’t believe I’m saying this) driving to work.

The hairs stood up on the back of my neck as I wrote that sentence – but there it is. I’ve driven to work for the last few days.

I have the be honest – it’s got it’s upsides and downsides.

  • Firstly – I get to sit in a warm, air conditioned car and my hands aren’t perpetually  freezing.
  • Secondly I arrive home really early (at least compared to the time I did before) and there’s still daylight.
  • Thirdly – I can do more with the day (I’ve been able to go shopping on the way home and quickly nip to an appointment in my lunch hour.)

There are obvious (and dare I say addictive) benefits to using my car – and I’m hyper aware that they all have a pull. They’re nice things.

On the downside…

  • It’s no fun whatsoever sitting for between 20-30 minutes in the morning (in sometimes stationary traffic) to travel tiny distances from one end of Warwick to the other.
  • It’s also more expensive – even though I’m still using a tank of petrol that’s been completely full since late December…
  • I’ve really missed the flush of energy that I get immediately as I step over the threshold at work when I’ve walked there. At that precise moment my brain is filled with energy and I’m stuffed with endorphins. I’m set for the day ahead.

So – it’s been swings and roundabouts – but all of it has been necessary. I needed to get better in the short term so I can get back to my old self in the long term. Next week things will hopefully be back to normal – which I’m looking forward to, because compared to walking frankly my exercise bike just doesn’t cut it.

Sure – I sit there and I do it because I need to do something but honestly it just seems like wasted time compared to walking from A to B. I’m just pedalling and remaining stationary.

Mostly because of this I’ve done less exercise minutes this week (according to Apple Watch) than I have for a long time. I’m sure that this will have a negative impact on my weigh in results today because I genuinely feel my food intake and exercise output have been quite finely balanced for a while now.

If I don’t do all of my walking I can’t enjoy my food with the same (ahem) enthusiasm that I may otherwise do from time to time.

Sigh.

I feel like I’m taking two steps forward and two steps back lately… However – rather than feeling down I actually feel really happy because something rather nice happened when I went to my Doctor’s surgery yesterday for a blood test.

Whilst waiting for the nurse to become available I sat reading on my phone with my legs crossed under a sky light.

The sun above was warming my head and arms and I felt good. I’d left my car a little way away and had a gentle walk in before the appointment. It was just a nice place to be – and I felt quite relaxed in the waiting room.

It then occurred to me that I hadn’t been there for a while. In fact I’d avoided the main practice in Warwick like the plague and scheduled all of my appointments instead at a branch surgery nearby.

The reason?

The branch surgery has a big bench in the waiting room whereas the main one has blue fabric seats with fixed metal armrests that were an absolute misery to sit in two years ago.

I used to wedge myself between them, perching on the edge of the chair and feeling the metal painfully pushing into my thighs as they were jammed together until I was called in for my appointment.

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Not these days.

New and improved Davey just crosses his legs, sits back, chillaxes, then admires the gaps either side of him and between his legs.

Space isn’t just the final frontier. It represents comfort and happiness – and I often find myself marvelling at the absence of me and the introduction of it.

You’d think I’d be used to it by now but I’m absolutely not. It still takes me aback when I walk through a previously tight door, sit in a smaller seat, run up some stairs, climb a slope or just stand in a stationary position without constant, crippling, ever present pain and embarrassment.

So it’s all good. Life is good. Everything is good. Davey is happy.

Although Davey also has some tasty morsels to prepare before Slimming World. It’s a free food tasting day and group starts in two and a half hours.

I’ve still not decided what to make yet!!! Eeek!

(author makes food, goes to group and comes home)

I decided in the end (after staring into the fridge abstractly for a while) to just make something up for food tasting – and went with a totally impromptu thrown together ‘pie’.

The filling consisted of

  • 5 chopped up bacon medallions (unsmoked)
  • 1 courgette
  • 2 leeks
  • small bunch of broccoli chopped
  • half a punnet of mushrooms
  • quarter of a savoy cabbage
  • 2 large cloves of garlic
  • a vegetable stock cube

The upper layer was made with

  • half a swede
  • a large baking potato (skin on)
  • 1 tub of Aldi cottage cheese with onion and chives
  • Salt to season

I fried all the first lot together until soft – patted it down into a frittata tray, then (when boiled) mashed the potato and swede into a paste and stirred in the cottage cheese before cooking it all in the oven for a further 25-30 minutes to brown the crust off.

I would have left it in the oven longer if I could but sadly ran out of time…

IMG_1845

Overall though it seemed to go down quite well with the people who tried it and there wasn’t much left at the end. Thankfully it was still warm and reeking of garlic when everyone tucked in which was just perfect!

I actually forgot to take my phone with me to group today – which meant that I couldn’t capture any pictures of the other lovely food that people brought in – but there were some particularly nice dishes – such as a (flipping lush) campfire stew, a chicken curry (ohmyfrikkingawd!) and a huge variety of crustless quiches!

The lady responsible for the curry even brought in some of her homemade garam masala spice for everyone to try (she would apparently have to kill us if she told us what the ingredients were – it’s a family secret!) and I brought back a little bag with me so that I could try and make my own version during the week.

These events are always very lively and a good opportunity to catch up with everyone- although I do tend to lose track of what I’e eaten in terms of syns. However I think today pretty much everything I had to eat (with the exception of one thing) was free or speed food – which I’m very happy about.

However – as I expected it wasn’t a great week in terms of the scales. I seem to be bouncing back and forth stubbornly around the same weight, and have been pretty much stuck there since early January.

IMG_1848

I have mixed feelings about this.

The truth of it is I’m happy with me at the moment for the most part – and I’m really beginning to wonder whether this is actually a problem at all – or whether I’m just going to decide that this is my ‘natural’ and comfortable size.

There’s nothing in my life that’s ‘broken’ at the moment any more. I’m fit, healthy, active, satisfied, employed and getting on with every day with energy and drive. I’m really not sure any more why I’m chasing a number when many people are telling me I don’t need to lose any more weight.

The aspirational corner of my mind wants something though – and thats a 20st certificate. The problem is that in the next mental breath I immediately think ‘what’s the point of forcing myself to achieve something only to then put another half a stone back on after I get it and ultimately ending up back to where I am now.

I have a bit of thinking to do on the subject – because in some ways I consider such an attitude to be failure, whereas another part of me is beginning to think it’s instead sensible.

Ultimately it’s up to me to make my mind up about whether I’m happy or not – but I don’t seem to be able to do this currently.

Either way there’s no rush. I aim to keep trying, keep focused and keep going every single week to weigh in and not backslide. Over time I think I’ll find out whether I have further to go or whether I’m right where I need to be…

On that note internet there appears to be an over abundance of blood in my caffeine stream. I’ve heard outlandish stories of a strange drink called coffee and I was planning to try it.

See you later!

Davey

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7 comments

  1. Lots of sensible things going on here. I’m not entirely convinced that your body hasn’t been taken over by a parasitic alien 🤔

    I’m not worried though, this alien seems to be making good decisions 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yeay for listening to your body and taking a rest when you need to. 🙂 And just see l where you go from here weight wise. It could be that you lose the weight easily again when you start walking again 🙂 The body works in mysterious ways. XD

    Liked by 1 person

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