Willpower under threat

I’m a bit annoyed with myself if I’m honest.

I’m not finding much long term enjoyment in doing press-ups, dumbell workouts or sit-ups at home every evening on my own. Frankly it’s been boring me stupid – and the more I think about why this is, the more I realise that I already know deep down.

I’m doing this in tandem with no-one and it’s not built into the structure of my life.

Willpower alone isn’t something that can sustain an activity that you’re not finding any enjoyment in. Walking works for me because I need it to go everywhere in my life at the moment and I use it to socialise.

Consequestly this is what’s happening:

Jan 13th
30 half press ups
20 elbow to knees
11 sit ups
15 second plank

Jan 14th
Exercise rest + 14 mile walk instead

Jan 15th
Planking (can last a minute at a time now)
Press-ups 20
14 mile walk

Jan 16th
Dumbell workout

Jan 17th
Rest day

Jan 18th
Rest day

As the above shows I don’t need to do situps when I get home from work – and the fact that I usually want my dinner immediately often takes priority.

The morning doesn’t work for me either.

I already get up an hour earlier to walk to work than I’d otherwise have to if I drove in. Getting up 90 mins early to do half an hour of weights before another hour of exercise (before I spend a whole day in the office followed by another hour’s walking home) just feels like overkill.

I do a LOT more now than I ever used to when I started this ‘journey’.

At the moment my daily average cardio exercise for January (according to Apple Watch) is 128 minutes. Crucially this is almost exclusively attributable to my walking – from which I get lots ofenjoyment.

I do my best to hide this though – especially on chilly and windy mornings like today when everyone else looks cold and miserable.

Walking gives me so much morethan just grunting up and down doing press-ups. When I’m out in the world I feel connected to everything and alive. When I’m at home on my own lifting weights I’m instead continually trying to take my mind off something that I consider rather disagreeable.

Whilst facing my living room carpet I dont get to turn a random corner and see a beautiful sunrise like I did today and on many other days just like it.

Walking to work is a gift – not a chore and I don’t resent it one little bit.

I love it.

I think I have to find another way to achieve my stated aim (increasing upper body strength) that doest make me eventually hate what I’m doing – and for the moment I don’t think I know yet what that is.

I’m managing to stick largely to plan with food however, and maintaining my food diary for #onplanjan regardless of whether I want to or not. Unlike doing sit-ups I very much want to eat food – so I’m already half way there when it comes to then writing it down afterwards!

13th Jan
Box of hifi bars (HE & 12 syns)
240g chicken + 3 Large apples
Two medium baked potatoes, tomatoes, pickled cabbage, can of mackerel, can of tuna and a tub of cottage cheese
Yogurt and frozen berries

14th Jan
Tomatoes and 160g chicken pieces
Chilli con carne made with pork mince, kidney beans, chick peas, onions, broccoli, tomatoes, courgette, green & red pepper
Yogurt and frozen berries + banana
6 apples

15th Jan
Chilli leftovers with basmati rice and half a can of beans + celery and tomato side salad
2x tubs of cottage cheese, pickled onions and olives
Yogurt and frozen berries + banana

16th Jan
Couscous + 5 bacon medallions, mushrooms, two tomatoes and onion
Beef stew with swede new potatoes, carrot, mushroom, leek and tomatoes
Yogurt and frozen berries + banana
Tub of cottage cheese

17th Jan
Beef stew leftovers with couscous
Chicken pieces
Huge Chicken and bacon salad
Yogurt and frozen berries + banana
6 cox apples

18th Jan
4x Aldi wheat biscuits (12syns) with frozen berries, blueberries and banana + unsweetened almond milk & cinnamon
Sprouts, broccoli, olives, chicken pieces and sliced beef
6 gala apples

Although when I look at this list it seems like a lot I’m not eating any more or less than I have in recent weeks. For the last four in a row I’ve lost weight, so hopefully this means that my continual efforts to track what I’m doing will mean that I still edge ever closer to my 19.5 stone certificate.

Anyway – tomorrow is Friday internet – and it’s the start of what promises to be a weekend that will fly by in a blur of activity. I have lots to get done!

I better get to bed and engage in some beauty sleep. Last night (for once) there was more wind outside my house (it blew over all the wheely bins everywhere and ripped things off houses and shops!) than there was under my duvet which in itself is a rare occurence…

Davey