I don’t have a lot to say today.
It’s been a busy one that’s been filled with things to do, consider and evaluate. It’s fair to say that lately my comfort zones are being continually tested – and (probabably for the first time in my life recently) I’ve begun to realise that I really enjoy this being my reality.
After far too many years of feeling both unwilling or unable to cope with change somehow I seem to have become its poster boy. Now rather than shirk from the challenges that life throws at me I’m revelling in them – and thoroughly enjoying the way that this new attitude shapes my life.
I don’t know what’s around the corner any more and I love that. Uncertainty no longer equals fear. It means opportunity and possibility.
A couple of weeks ago when I was interviewed on the radio (link) I admitted to anyone caring to listen that two years ago I was basically waiting to die, and was planning my future around this happening sooner rather than later.
Furthermore I wanted it to happen.
I couldnt see a way out of the trap my life had become and it had overwhelmed every aspect of me. I was emotionally drowning and looking at disability aids for my house whilst considering how I could manage when (inevitably) I was no longer able to move.
It was a peverse way of thinking.
I see that now – but back then it somehow made sense in my head. Furthermore I had managed to rationalise it to both myself and others. In my own heavily self-medicated way I’d made peace with it. I could hardly walk and soon I probably wouldnt be able to walk at all.
Fast forward to today. It’s the 11th Jan 2018.
I stopped my exercise app on my watch at around 8.25am as I approached the front door of my office.
As I now do every weekday morning I’d just walked the three miles from my front doorstep to my office, and had felt the haptic feedback on my wrist as it double tapped me to say mile three was complete.
I looked down to check my splits, and this is what I saw.
Ever since I joined Slimming World I’ve been trying to crack the 15 minute walking mile (I started at around an hour and half) and this morning I not only did it – I DID IT TWICE!!!
So – today that’s all I have to say internet. I have (almost) no other words.
Apart from these.
I’ve gone from being incapable of moving, morbidly waiting for the end of my life and seeing no future to walking a mile in 14 minutes and 51 seconds.