Fall amongst the stars

I’m quite surprised at how quickly things can change.

Weight loss (If you had as much to lose as I did) can at times seem like a glacial process – but in truth when I look at the stats I’ve lost quite a lot of weight at a pretty brisk pace.

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Over the course of 90 weeks I’ve dropped 269.5lbs, meaning I’ve had an average weight loss of 3lbs per week since April 2016.

As wonderful as this is if I’m completely honest I’m pretty much mentally at the end of everything in my life being about a number on a pair of scales. However – before everyone panics and reads that as someone giving up on a healthy lifestyle let me reassure you – nothing could be further from the truth.

It’s the exact opposite in fact – because this is me saying that even though I still have a little distance left to go with weight loss (I really really want that 20 stone certificate) I’m now at the point where I KNOW that this is my life now, and that I’m not going back ever again.

Some readers took my indecision about whether to get rid of old clothes as a worry that I might backslide – and truthfully in some ways it was. I’ve failed before and sometimes those memories are hard to exorcise.

People’s concerns made me think on the subject afterwards quite a bit though.

In my head this reticence to let go of ‘stuff’ relates more to my upbringing. These retentive impulses were primarily focused by memories of the lack of money that we had as a family when I was growing up – and the almost complete absence of new or ‘nice’ clothes that I wore all the way through school up until I was 16.

Mostly because of this I’m constantly dogged by a feeling that somehow it’s ‘wrong’ to dispose of perfectly good items of clothing, and I’m therefore wanting to hold onto lots of things probably more than I should do.

There’s another facet to this however – because nothing is ever simple when it comes to the psychology of weight loss.

It wasn’t hard for me to get rid of ‘fat clothes’.

I hated them.

NEVER wore them by choice, and instead felt like I had been held hostage by the retailers from which I had to buy them. Honestly when the time came to give them away I couldn’t wait.

I just wanted them gone and I didn’t care who received them.

However – the clothes that I’ve bought since, from high street stores and charity shops are items that I’ve had a very different relationship with. I’ve begun once again to take a pride in my appearance – and like to think that when I wear my current clothes that I look smart, presentable and above all else that I fit in to my surroundings.

The items that have recently migrated to bags represent things I wore to succesful job interviews, that I climbed up mountains with, that were the first pair of shorts that I felt comfortable wearing or things that simply just made me feel part of the human race again because they came from the same mundane supermarket that everyone else around me (that looked perfectly normal) was buying the same clothes from.

They have to go though. Everyone’s right. Holding onto them is pointless – and like many other things in life they’re dead weight.

My mother failed to realise this and as a relentless hoarder this behaviour literally buried her over time. At the end her house was jam packed with things she would never ever get the chance to use – but that she couldn’t bear to part with.

I’m still using the mountain of soap she left behind and I estimate I have another three to four years worth of showers to take before it’s all gone. The irony is she rarely washed (I’m not joking) yet had about six years worth of bars dating back to the early 80’s in her bungalow.

I view this as proof positive that the universe has a sense of humour…

I digress however – because I originally meant to say that whilst my focus is moving from weight loss I’m not losing any momentum – I’m just gradually transferring it to something else.

Fitness.

#ONPLANJAN is rumbling along and tying quite nicely into my other goal, which is getting stronger. If you remember I started January being able to do 7 press-ups and 7 sit-ups (feet under sofa).

Currently this is the state of play.

Jan 7th
Sit-ups feet under sofa – 15
(10 then stop then 5)
Press-ups 10
Half press ups 20

Jan 8th (I took a rest from exercise)

Jan 9th
Sit-ups feet under sofa – 18
(10 then stop then 8)
Dumbbell workout
Press-ups 18

Jan 10th
Sit-ups feet under sofa – 18
(10 then stop then 8)
Dumbbell workout
Press-ups 20

I’m pretty pleased that within the space of just ten days I’ve managed to more than double my capabilties. Although I dont think I’m going to hit my original target of 50 of each by the end of January (It was pretty ‘pie in the sky’ after all) it really doesnt matter – because I’m making significant progress.

As my consultant Angie never fails to remind us ‘If you shoot for the moon and don’t make it then you still fall amongst the stars‘. She’s absolutely right. Improvement is improvement no-matter how you look at it, and I’m done with snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

My food intake has also been pretty good (although as always I’ve been eating generous portions – which I hope doesnt nail my progress).

Jan 7th
Apple
Pot of Cottage cheese + ham (100g)
Chilli con carne made with pork mince, kidney beans, chick peas, onions, broccoli, tomatoes, yellow & pepper
Natural yogurt banana & Aldi Black Forest fruits

Jan 8th
Leftover chilli + couscous
Salad + baked potato
Natural yogurt banana & Aldi Black Forest fruits
3 Large apples
Ham + cottage cheese

9th Jan
4x Aldi wheat biscuits (12syns) with strawberries, banana, raspberries + unsweetened almond milk
Pickled onions
Roasted parsnips, potatoes with sir fried garlic red onion, sprouts and chicken
Cottage cheese + corn on cob x2

10th Jan
Leftover Roasted parsnips, potatoes with sir fried garlic red onion, sprouts and chicken + couscous
2 x chicken breasts and 3 Large cox apples
Beef, butternut, sweet potato, mushroom, courgette, green bean and red onion & tomato stew

It all looks rather nice as well!

I hope your January activities are going well internet and that whatever your self improvement plans were that you’re sticking to them and feeling positive!

Keep it up!

Davey

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