Cheese toastie – and hold the lactose.

‘Granny I want my cappuccino lactose free. It’s better that way.’ said the well spoken little voice in front of me.

‘I think everything should be lactose free…’ said a young girl in the Starbucks queue clutching her triple cheese toastie (still in its wrapper) close to her chest.

‘It’s just healthier… Jeannie said so.’ she said whilst staring at the menu board.

‘Is that the sandwich you want?’ Her grandmother tentatively enquired.

‘Yes. I always have this.’ She replied. ‘It’s yummy.’

I looked at her grandmother. She had several high street store carrier bags draped over her arms and something of a ‘thousand yard stare’ etched on her face. It seemed that the morning’s shopping trip had taken its toll. Clearly time spent with the younger generation had costs of all kinds associated with it.

I idly studied an identical sandwich in the chiller as I waited behind them.

Part of me felt almost duty bound to point out the contradiction of her granddaughter’s choices.

There were after all many chunks of (no doubt very yummy) lactose in between the slices of bread in her hand. I wondered if granny had realised or if she was oblivious – but felt instead that I’d just leave it alone. It didn’t seem to me to be a dietary choice based on gastric intolerance – and instead appeared to be a faddy one based solely on the opinion of her peer.

Instead I had already automatically added up the other, hidden cost of her pit stop as the girl also examined a large chocolate coin by the till.

(One of those is 120 kcal.)

I quickly totted up the rest. The cappuccino she wanted contained 120 kcal and the sandwich would account for a further 405 kcal. In contrast I’d just eaten a very filling large baked potato with cottage cheese which had come in at around 400 kcal. I was about to order a black coffee to wash it down with.

If the young lady held onto the coin that would be a total of 645 kcal that granny would be wholly responsible for injecting into the next generation. Mentally I willed her to put the coin back and stick with her cheese sandwich and lactose free cappuccino.

The youngster was about 12 and (according to Google) should have around 1400 – 2000 a day. Clearly children of her age are expected to run around a lot and grow all the time because I eat around 2000 a day now and I’m an almost 6ft tall grown man.

This girl didn’t look like she ran a lot though. Not at all actually.

‘These aren’t the coins you’re looking for…’ I thought to myself over and over, channeling my inner Obi Wan Kenobi.


My Jedi mind tricks worked and she put the coin back down, completely unaware of my manipulation.


I saved her – and she’ll never know.

I can’t switch the counting off any more. I do it all the time. This is something which is both irritating and comforting in equal measure. I don’t want to be obsessed and constantly totting everything up in a mental ledger like a bank clerk but this way of thinking seems to be here to stay.

In much the same way as I developed habitual behaviours with my over eating and drinking I think now current success is based on the same problematic (and slightly OCD) part of my personality. The difference is that these days it’s used to obsess over the right choices rather than the wrong ones.

It does however sometimes become a little too structured…


However – despite my tendency to find comfort in repetition my compulsive side proves really useful if I make a misstep because I can’t help but count all of that as well, rather than just ignoring it.

I then continue to do the same throughout the following days, calculating rough averages as the week goes on, and I’m always trying to pull things back around. This is particularly relevant (as I mentioned in my last blog) to the next phase of my weight loss journey (I still hate that word!)

The topic of maintaining weight when at target came up when chatting to fellow travellers in my Slimming World meeting today and from what they’ve said (as they’re at target) I think my mindset at the moment will help.

Although I still have occasional moments of madness currently I’m laser focused on getting to where I want to be – and bit by bit it’s paying off.

Today I managed to hammer another nail into the coffin of my obesity and dropped a pound. That’s 17.5 pounds gone over the last six weeks – which I’m really really happy with.

Although I’m still probably going to change my target I’m currently less than a stone and a half away from my 15 stone goal – which to me is rather mind blowing.

This means that I’m also now FIRMLY in the XL bracket of clothes – and today (since I’m now employed) treated myself a little in the local charity shops.

I found (what appear to be BRAND NEW) bargains of the highest order – and all in XL!

  • Debenhams John Rocha leather jacket from Sue Ryder for £40
  • Levis 505 38in waist jeans £4
  • M&S Blue Harbour long sleeve cotton shirt £3.85


You’ll have to forgive the poor lighting – but no matter how the photo turned out I feel like a flipping princess!

On that note internet I need to eat dinner. A salad awaits and it has my name on it!!!!

Nom Nom Nom…



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