It will come as a surprise to precisely no-one that I’m a total geek.
This mostly manifests itself in my tendency to get attached to (and also irritable with) technology, but also is readily apparent when people are confronted with my occasionally feverish interest in sci-fi or my complete inability to grow up and stop reading comics.
I loved them as a child – and (particularly when things made me sad) I got lost for hours at a time in the same limited collection of titles that I had (mostly Spider-Man Star Wars and Captain Britain) reading them over and over again as I squeezed the absolute most pleasure that I could out of them.
I couldn’t afford many back then – but I have lots now.
Maybe it’s over compensating but I don’t care. There’s never been a better time to be a geek. Not only are comics plentiful, in fashion and digital but movie studios have caught on to their box office potential and (unlike when I was a child) they are making pretty excellent adaptations of the subject matter.
After doing my chores for the morning today I toddled off to the cinema to see Thor – Ragnarock and arrived a bit early for the showing. As I sat in the audience thinking about how much I was looking forward to the film my thoughts were unexpectedly diverted.
In front of me was a guy who really struggled to get to his seat. He was a few years older than I am but he moved a lot slower and I could hear his breathing – which was laboured and very heavy. He was also sweating profusely (I was in a fleece – it was freezing outside) and probably hadn’t moved very far from what I could see.
He had car keys in his hand meaning that he’d most likely only come from the nearby multi-story car park – the one I used to use before I started instead walking the mile and a half to the cinema.
This man was a very big person – which is what drew my attention to him in the first place – but he’s nowhere near as big as I used to be.
As he lowered himself gingerly into his seat I could hear it creak. The way he sat down with most of his weight supported by his arms on the sides of the chair suggested that he was worried that he’d break something, and as he came to rest carefully I heard a sigh.
It could have been because of pain – but I think he was sad.
He barely fitted into the seat.
As I sat watching him shift around trying to find comfort I could hear him trying to modify his breathing and slow his heart rate. He was clearly trying not to appear out of breath to his companions – and as he talked to the person next to him I heard a familiar rhythm in his speech.
His sentences were short and clipped. His pauses for ‘thought’ were also too long – and he appeared to be contemplating each answer.
I knew what this man was doing and why he was doing it because he’s the man I used to be. I used to talk differently and introduce false pauses into my cadence to allow me to take deeper breaths and recover from exertion whilst trying to cover up how much it had taken out of me.
I never even realised that I did this until someone told me (when I had lost 15 stone) that my voice and speech had completely changed.
Honestly I wanted to tap him on the shoulder and say ‘there’s another way – it doesn’t have to be like this’ but I didn’t.
In contrast to this man I sat quietly and comfortably behind him in my seat with a lot of room between me and the sides.
I had my legs crossed (because I can these days) and my flask of coffee was resting in the cup holder to side of me because my thighs aren’t jammed into the arm rest (which prevented from me putting a drink there) like they used to be.
I didn’t have any popcorn like him because I’d had a healthy breakfast before leaving the house. I’m nothing like this man anymore and I can’t understand how I ever let that happen to myself in the first place.
Sigh. It makes me sad for him though. I hope he finds it within himself to navigate out of whatever mental maze he’s in. It’s not easy finding the keys to a prison of your own making.
The film is very good (although maybe played a little too much for laughs) and there are lots of little Easter eggs for fans.
If you like the Marvel films – particularly Guardians of the Galaxy – then you’ll love this.
After the film I decided to hit the charity shops – and BOY did I have a good time! I love days where I try on things that not so long ago would have been an impossible dream and now they just fit me – as if they always did.
Not only did I find a swanky new black North Face gilet for just over a fiver (gilets are cool 😎 and a man needs two in his wardrobe) but I got a pair of lined Craghopper walking trousers for £4!!
I just need to say that AGAIN.
In case you didn’t get it.
The gilet (which is cool 😎) and the trousers are a LARGE and they fit me!!!
So why do they fit me?
They fit me because despite how I may feel on some days I’m sticking to plan and I’m persisting with food diaries, total honesty with myself and following through with #onplanoctober – which has kept me on the right track for over three weeks now.
Here’s what happened yesterday.
- 500g grated carrot 210
- Can of mackerel in tomato sauce. 190
- Can of tuna in spring water 120
- 370g (jar) pickled gherkins 114
- Romaine lettuce 25
- spoonful of mint sauce 5
- Spoonful whole grain mustard 10
- 15 pitted green olives 60 (3 syns)
- Corn on the cob x2 118
- 400g chicken breast 400
- 2 leeks 108
- 100g cabbage 25
- Microwave basmati rice 366
- 100g blueberries 43
- 250g frozen Aldi summer fruits 84
Total calories consumed 1878
- Active/total calories burned 1123/3325
- Cardio minutes 69
- Steps/miles walked 16,189/8.15
With reminders like the ones I’ve had today of why I’m doing what I’m doing I feel absolutely great Internet.
I think I could probably lift Thor’s hammer at the moment.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other guys. It’s the only way to get to where you deserve to be.