Technology is wonderful. Until it isn’t.
When you put your trust in something and then it ceases to do what you expect of it then (if like me you develop a relationship of sorts with a device) there are few things that can put you in a worse mood.
Honestly my frame of mind hasn’t been too great anyway over the last week (apart from Friday at EGX) due having no frikkin clue what to do next in life – so when my Mac started to do strange things I started getting a little annoyed.
If I’d have had a pram then my toys would have been thrown right out of it.
Currently something VERY BAD is transpiring.
Every single application refuses to open and instead throws up the same error message.
I’d have seen it as a challenge, rolled up my sleeves and spent my entire weekend trying to figure out what the issue was and then would have busied myself rectifying it.
There was however a significant difference between that version of Davey and current Davey. Whilst I am still something of a nerdy geek – new improved me is far more likely to view time spent sitting tinkering as time utterly wasted.
Yesterday (shortly before all of this nonsense started) I was already searching for motivation – and reasons to do more than just fiddle with techno toys.
I’ve been saddled with a stress related bout of the munchies for DAYS now (I struggled yesterday too) and I’d been wondering how I could turn it around.
I came up with the following.
- I’m not cooking enough. I’ve been snacking a lot and not making the effort to make a proper, balanced dinner or evening meal. This has to stop. I need to spend more time planning and preparing.
- I’ve not been drinking enough water. As I counted the cost of yesterday’s picking at the ‘nice’ things in my cupboard I realised I’d had about two pints all day. That’s not enough.
- I need to focus on my jeans.
The last point isn’t a spelling mistake. I’m not talking about genetics.
I mean denim.
I pulled my old 66in waist trousers out of storage and laid them out flat on the carpet, then took my current jeans off the clothes horse, overlaid them and took a photo.
So – I shut the computer down, grabbed my fleece and my hat and soon was out in the countryside near Ryton Woods for a four and a half mile walk with a friend.
I’ll admit that I’ve been on a mission during a lot of my walks lately, and I think my companions may have noticed a brisker pace than usual.
In truth I’m trying to bury myself in exercise – in the hope that things will click into place and that I’ll have a sudden twalking revelation in the middle of no-where and suddenly realise what it is I want to be when I grow up.
The countryside near Southam and Ryton Woods failed give me absolute clarity so today (still avoiding my broken computer) I went out looking again.
I stared the day with a five mile walk around Warwick and the park, went home and then ten minutes later headed out on another seven and a half mile circular route march from my house, round the Warwickshire golf course and back again.
However – whilst I’ve smashed my daily goals, my body is bristling with added vitality and I’ve managed a lot of chatting with some lovely people I’ve still had no bolt from the blue or sudden profound epiphany.
Furthermore – to add insult to injury when I got home my computer was still broken and had not magically fixed itself.
There were lots of pretty mushrooms today though so at least there’s that…
Well – next week I’ve set myself the challenge of moving my ‘what happens next?’ agenda forward. Since I don’t yet know what my plans are, tangible success will be hard to measure – but I need over the next few days to approach it as I would a job.
This means getting up early like I always do, making myself presentable, going out to the library or somewhere quiet, researching potential paths, and taking one (maybe two) positive, measurable and quantifiable actions in pursuit of my goals.
Granted – I don’t know what my goals are yet, so ironically enough this may well just be to ‘define my goals’, but even this is something I’m not sure about.
One thing’s for certain though. I’ve got to get out of the habit of telling myself what I can’t do and start reminding myself what I can do.
At the moment every time I think of something I’m waaay more focused on what could go wrong and how I could fail at it than I am about the exciting prospect of doing something with the potential for success and to truly change my life.
Either that internet or I go with PLAN B, take a complete break from reality and become Lego Batman.