On the bank of the Rubicon

It’s 8am and I’m lying in bed at the moment. It’s cold in my room and the duvet is warm. I don’t really want to get up yet and I’m a little stumped as to what to do with my day currently. 

This is mostly because I’m trying to slowly bring my bank balance back into a place that I’m comfortable with, and every time I think of something to do I end up stressing about the money I’d spend whilst doing it (even though none of my ideas for the day cost that much) and not about the fun I could have. Most of my plans therefore end with me thinking that I should maybe just go for a walk instead. 

This is also because I’m not expecting any great things on the scales today after my pig out session last weekend (link). 

Lord knows I don’t feel like I deserve a loss today. I’ve fallen short of my personal walking and steps goals this week (not by much though) and feel that I could have done more. 

However – despite this nagging worry I’ve also gone down a notch on my work belt and I can now get into some M&S corduroy trousers that I found in a charity shop a couple of months ago. It’s been my experience however that inch loss doesn’t necessarily correspond with weight loss. 

Stranger things have happened mind you so we’ll see. 

Anyway… time to get up, get ready and face whatever the music is that’s playing. 

(Author gets ready and goes to group)

As always the meeting has been lively today – and the topic of Angie’s talk was portion control. 

As many will know this is a big issue for me and although I think I’m getting better I’m often forced to admit that I still eat very differently to other people. 

The suggestion she made to have a smaller plate so I eat less is something I’ve already tried – and the consequence is that I inevitably end up having two plates of food. 

However – I must be doing something right. I do tend to fill these rather large plates with lots of vegetables instead of fattening things and today my attempts all week to shave 200kcal off per day to make up for my cereal bar mishap appears to have worked. 

I actually managed to lose 6 frikkin pounds!!!!

According to Angie my average weight loss is still 3.5 pounds a week. 

This surprised me to be honest – as although I can see consistency in my weight loss graph on the Slimming World pages I’d begun to think that I was slowing down. 

It seems not!

I’m wondering if this is in part due to the Bimuno powder I started taking recently (link) and I mentioned this during group therapy today. It seems that after reading my blog others in the group have tried the same thing and they too had some really positive IBS related improvement. 

(Once again I’m not selling this or promoting it in any way. My improvement may be diet and exercise related. I’m still on the fence over this stuff.)

From my perspective though the wind appears to have subsided and I’m pretty certain that the ‘barrel’ shape of my stomach has diminished. I’ve also not felt any stomach ache for a while (the kind you have if you feel a bit consipated). 

It’s just gone altogether. 

Either way, powder or no powder, keeping on going regardless of ups and downs in my moods or my eating has meant a consistent stone a month for me for the last 17 straight months. 

The certificate is lovely – and it makes me very very happy – but as I alluded to last week I’m also edging ever closer to a massive milestone. 

My own personal Rubicon is about to be crossed. 

In just two pounds I’ll have lost more than I weigh. 

This metaphor may seem like an odd one to choose – as it refers to Julius Caesar’s decision to cross a boundary into Italy with his army that plunged Rome into civil war. It was also the precursor to the start of one of the most infamous dictatorships in human history. 

However to me the phrase is apt because it means to me that this moment is an irrevocable point in time from which there is no return. 

Although I could return to my old ways I know deep down that too much has changed in me mentally to ever go down that road again. 

Whilst it’s possible it’s no longer probable. 

I’m certain that I’m never going back to who I was in January 2016 – and while the certificate I had in my hand this morning meant a lot to me this pending achievement means everything. 

I want this next week if I can get to it – but in reality it really doesn’t matter when it happens. I’m getting there and absolutely nothing is stopping me. 

No force on the planet can get in my way. 

I’m doing it internet. 

I’m crossing the Rubicon. 

Davey