Windy day

The effects of dramatic weight loss are (I’ve found) often unpredictable – and throughout my journey I’ve experienced a variety of odd feelings, strains, tensions and pains. I’ve put a lot of this down to my body weight shifting and stressing different muscles and ligaments in the process.

Around the 11-12st mark I started getting a lot of lower back ache while walking. It’s been following me around for a while – but for the most part thankfully it’s now gone.

I’m left instead with another quite bizarre malady.

Epic farting.

I first noticed that this was a feature of walks when I realised that a side effect of rapidly shrinking buttocks was that I could no longer clench with precision and silently allow any offending visitors to exit unnoticed.

It’s led to a few (ahem) ‘noisy moments’ and occasional shifting of the blame to ‘creaky trees’ or ‘naughty dogs’ (sorry Boris).

Although my regular companions are good natured enough to just find this funny I’ve been trying (without much success) to discover exactly what in my diet has caused this – since nothing has changed. I’ve read online many competing theories for what will cause such rampant flatulence, and some sites suggest broccoli is a leading cause. Others lay the blame at the feet of garlic. Some point the finger of suspicion at onions – and the gaze of others falls upon beans.

The problem is that I love all of these things and they’re really good for me. They also happened to be pretty much everything that I picked up in the stampede of cheap food at Tesco last night.

So I cooked them all up with some soy sauce, salmon and prawns, extinguished all naked flames and tucked in anyway.

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Trust me when I say that the duvet covers were billowing last night…

Either way I’ve decided to just say ‘sod it’ and carry on eating the healthy food I love and continuing to fart until whatever is happening inside me goes along it’s merry way and the next odd bodily quirk arrives.

In the meantime I apologise to all in advance for any unusually strained expressions and occasional unfortunate noises. I will though continue to let havoc fly in the great outdoors as much as possible.

The weather has been almost perfect for this today.

It’s been pretty breezy – and although the afternoon has perpetually threatened rain – all the bad bits held off at all the right times. While the sun was shining first thing this morning (now the blackbirds have moved on) I was also able to trim back the last pesky section of bush in the garden and expose the view all the way down the left hand side to the shed.

Once again – here is a ‘before’ shot followed by a ‘current’ one.

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I started this on the 21st May – so it’s taken almost three whole weeks to get to this point and a lot of hard graft. It’s still a work in progress – but it’s definitely coming on. I’ve got another large pile to dispose of on the right hand side (probably on Tuesday as I have plans tomorrow) and then I need to take care of the ivy on the back of my tree before I start thinking about digging out roots embedded deeper in the ground all over the place.

I’ve also noticed that I’ve started abstractly dreaming about the order in which I need to do things out there now so I’m pretty sure this is becoming something of a minor obsession.

In order to have a change of pace from this today I’d agreed to go for a walk with a friend – who is (like me) focusing on getting a lot fitter, and making progress with her couch to 5K app. Although I decided to delay starting mine (we began at the same time) she’s been able to carry on and is doing pretty well by all accounts.

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We’ve been twalking together for quite a while now – and as we briskly strode today (just over eight miles in a loop to the Harvester for lunch and back) remarked upon how when we’d first done that route many weeks ago we’d felt pretty tired by the time we’d got to the restaurant.

This afternoon we didn’t – and it’s rather amazing how with a little friendly rivalry over step counts (she’s shorter than me and I suspect usually wins because of her teeny legs) and heart rates on our respective fitness watches we’ve both noticeably improved.

Compared to where we started we’ve both got faster and are regularly walking much longer distances together.

In fact today we took a slightly more scenic route both to and from our destination and even found the two remaining swanlings (from an original brood of seven) in St Nicholas Park pottering around by the opposite bank.

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We also spotted these strange little beasties ALL OVER a nearby mossy wall just sitting and soaking up the sunshine. I have no idea what they are – and can’t remember ever seeing one before.

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Does anyone in internetland know what they are? I can’t find them in my online searches – and although it won’t keep me awake at night I’m quite curious as to what they are and why I’ve never seen one before…

Anyway. I just had another garlic and veg stir fry – this time with some chicken and Slimming World Chorizo style sausages.

I’m pretty certain that from a rear burping perspective this won’t be a great outcome internet – so I better go and strap myself in for a wild ride.

Davey


16 thoughts on “Windy day

  1. Sharing this post with Skype friend of mine. He sends this comment : “An ILLUMINATING (GAS-FIRED) post! Rocketing to the top of blog posts today.
    Oh ,the silent sufferings of Boris, evident on his face so often!
    Who else would choose such a flaming topic? For 15 farting paragraphs.The reader is indeed “strapped in for a wild ride”!
    I had a Labrador (Rupert), who lived to 13. Then he had daily fits. Foaming at the mouth and collapsing. The vet said he had to be ‘put down’. No way! I took him off his meat diet and made him vegetarian (with meat gravy). The local health store had (in those days), “Vetsyme”, small and large tins of powdered brewer’s yeast. Which was about 50% protein. So, sprinkled daily: about a dessert spoon full sometimes.
    No fits!!! The vet was amazed. Rupert lived another 6 months of happy, energetic activity. Then the fits returned… And I had to bury him at home in the garden. (NB. His eyes were as clear as the esteemed blog writer’s now are!)
    BUT ONE PROBLEM (which Boris and other walking companions will understand). DON’T BE DOWNWIND, in this profound interior, elevated and intellectual sense, an hour later!
    Declared Old Fart.”

    Warm greetings from fellow internal cyclist. I share the problem , it helps with pedalling.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Farting i think is healtby! But I recently discovered I had low stomach acid which I had never heard of but one symptom of this is wind. And I think it might be quite common on people who might have changed eating habits or previously had a less healthy diet. For me it’s mainly because I inhale food rather than chewing it. Anyway Google it – there’s a simple test with bicarbonate of soda – might or might not help.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. How on earth did I miss this post? Especially one that I could have written. For me ginger sets my bottom off, which is a shame (for my family) as it’s my number 1 stir fry ingredient.

    The little beasties are ladybirds! My brother told me when I found one on our apple tree a couple of weeks ago and I didn’t believe him so I Googled it and it’s TRUE!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You just corroborated someone else’s ladybird larvae statement! I think you may be right – but how odd that they’re actually larger than ladybirds! I need to look into this more 🤔

      Yes – the bottom burpiness shows no sign of abating! At least I’m in good company lol – although I suspect we’d not be good company for others 😄

      Garlic, onions and chilli powder are major contributors for me – although oddly fresh chilli has no such impact (on me or family nostrils).

      As they say – ‘shit happens’ 😂

      Anyone currently wanting to be in my company is coming to accept this as a fact of life lol

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Huh, that IS weird. If you find out why the larvae are bigger please let me know!

        I am windier than all of my family put together, I have no idea how they put up with me. Being at work is easier though- I can drop it one place and drive off and leave it there. No one will ever figure it out. Muahahahahahaha!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. This post had both me and my mom laugh really loud. 🙂 Perhaps it is just a sign that your digestive system is doing it’s thing, because of all the healthy food you have been giving it? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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