Well today everything muscular between my knees and my groin aches after yesterday’s attempt at jogging.
The pain is identical to the post downhill cramps I felt after walking around the Malvern hills – but nowhere near as severe thankfully.
However (and forgive me if I’m captain obvious but all of this is completely new to me) what it makes me realise is that my thigh muscles need quite a bit of improvement. Their currently creaky status has meant that for the first part of today I’ve taken it relatively easy.
However – doing nothing is never an option these days, and by the time the early afternoon arrived I was getting itchy feet and decided to hop on my exercise bike for a bit of low impact cardio to see if I could banish the cramp before I walked into town to meet my brother.
This was just the ticket until around 11 minutes into my hill climb programme (ironically just before D-Ream ‘things can only get better‘ started on my playlist) the pin holding my seat in place managed to dislodge (it’s spring loaded and also has a screw thread which had apparently unwound over time) and sent me careering downwards towards the floor until I stopped abruptly around 15 inches later.
Thankfully my seat is well padded – and nothing was broken (on me or the bike).
(Author pauses for a while to engage in a conversation with a friend not dissimilar to other conversations he’s had today. It leaves him in a reflective frame of mind and he decides to change what he’d originally planned to write in his post.)
I can be a very determined person.
When I really set my mind to something it rarely deviates. Sometimes this serves me well – and my motivation to lose weight is a positive example of this personality trait. At other times I’m aware it can also manifest itself in less constuctive ways.
A few people – who are very well meaning, and whom I respect a great deal have raised concerns with me today about my couch to 5k plans. All of them are universally happy that I am making fitness progress – but they’re also worried that I’ll injure myself – particularly my knees.
Consequently I’ve been thinking on and off a lot about this today. Originally I’d been fairly resolute (maybe even bullish) in my willingness to carry on regardless. It took a lot to muster up the courage to go out and jog in public yesterday and I didn’t want to listen to anyone telling me not to after I’d jumped over what I thought was a massive hurdle.
Until that is someone finally said in response to me this evening ‘you know your own body best’.
I had to stop and just admit that the truth of it is – I don’t – not any more anyway. It’s all completely uncharted territory for me. Sometimes I’m amazed by the fact it can do something it never used to do before and at other times I’m surprised and frustrated when I discover a limitation.
It can move from being exciting and wonderful one minute to unexpectedly annoying the next.
Lately I’m jam packed with what seems (to me at least) to be insane amounts of energy. I don’t really say no to anything anyone suggests these days when it comes to exercise – unless it involves money. I just want to do more all the time and explore new challenges.
I’ve never felt like this in my entire life.
It’s wonderful – and although I have occasional moments where things get me down I generally feel like each day at the moment is a gift.
Compared to the prison of my own making that I used to live in I now have almost complete freedom to move around a world that I’m only just beginning to get to know all over again.
It’s the almost bit that niggles me though. I want it all and I want it NOW. I’m very much like a child in this respect and at the risk of being trite or flippant – I think maybe I want to run when I’ve only just learned to walk.
Maybe I need to listen to other people and err on the side of caution. People a lot lighter than me have ruined their joints with running – some of whom have today urged me to calm down.
No-one is telling me I shouldn’t ever do it – they’re just saying that I shouldn’t do it yet.
If I don’t pay attention to them and really hurt myself then what kind of fool would this make me?
Probably the worst kind.
No-one that’s contacted me wants anything but the best for me and I think that it’s this that’s currently giving me pause. I probably need to put my enthusiasm and determination (and maybe my pride) to one side on this topic and listen – regardless of how temporarily deflated it may make me feel.
I want the world internet and I want to run over it, climb up it, abseil down it snowboard through it and glide on the air around it.
But I can’t.
But I will.
Thanks to everyone that cares. You all mean the world to me – even though I can occasionally be a teeny tiny bit stubborn (once in a blue moon).