Bouyancy Hiatus

I know I shouldn’t complain – but I’m in a crappy frame of mind today. My mood is (probably ironically) irritating me still further because I’m fully aware that in the great scheme of things how I feel is silly and unreasonable.

I always think twice about putting these kind of thoughts in print – but wherever possible I try to be open about how life makes me feel, be it good or bad.

This morning (while getting ready for an appointment) I was deciding what to wear. It’s not easy – and not because I’m a diva, but because my wardrobe is now mostly populated by coat hangers with nothing on them. There’s a big pile of folded shirts and jeans on my dining table downstairs, and the vast majority of them now look like I purchased them for comic effect when I put them on.

One shirt in particular is roomy enough to smuggle several litters of puppies through a border crossing – if that is I was inclined to embark upon a career as a puppy smuggler (I’m not).

They also suddenly seem longer than I ever realised they were before and many of them probably only need a belt with a swanky buckle to appear more ‘dressy’ than ‘shirty’. However – since I’m not planning to start shaving my legs and wearing heels just yet (although I never rule anything out) my only option is to take them to charity and replace them with new ones.

Whilst looking online for fresh sources of large (and cheap) menswear the other day I came across several news articles from early 2016. They stated that the UK department store Debenhams had started stocking shirts up to a 5XL size – and that one in nine of all of their online sales was now for men over an XXL.

There were many versions of this story in the British press but the Daily Mail managed to phrase this turn of events in its headline the most delicately and clearly attempted to be as sensitive as possible to the plight of the UK’s larger chaps.


Despite the delightful rhetoric of this publication (and others) the expanded choices offered by Debenhams do at least open up a semi reasonable avenue of cheaper clothing to men such as myself – especially ones on a very tight budget.

In my current specialist retailer’s catalogue the average price for a 5XL shirt is £40. The price for a pair of jeans is £40. A belt (wait for it – you’ll never guess) is £40.

If I decide that I need no coat, socks or underpants I can step out into the big wide world for £120 – but woe betide me if I need to change clothes. If I want to do that (unless I stand around naked for a while next to the washing machine) then this embodiment of opulent luxury adds another £80 to the cost, meaning that I’m down £200.


Debenhams in comparison have (quite nice looking) shirts that start at £18 – but I can’t try them on in store. I can only get them online, so ordering from them may well be very hit and miss. I’m a bit more worried about this than I was a few days ago.

Following my unexpected run in with a surprisingly roomy 2XL jacket in a previous post, yesterday I found a different high street shop that had a range of 3XL tops and grabbed a few off the peg to try on in a changing room.

It seems that 3XL is a size that differs wildly depending on where you go.

I’ll just say that the look they produced was not flattering, and that the tee-shirts I tried on made me think that I’d also need to source a large corset and a bra if I planned to wear them in the near future.

On the bright side if I ever wondered what having a second skin felt like – now I know.

However – everyone needs to buy clothes. I’m not daft enough to think that this is an expense or experience that everyone else doesn’t have to go through from time to time, or that these feelings of frustration when things don’t fit are unique to me.

The thing is that unlike people whose weight doesn’t fluctuate too much, I’m talking about buying (what I consider to be) expensive items that will probably last me a few months at my current rate of weight loss.

I also don’t want to not buy them and begin to look like an idiot in my current clothes.

I need practical, no-nonsense items that are smart, multi purpose and comfortable – but before I’ve even taken them off the peg I feel resentment that they represent (what I currently see as) wasted money. By the time I try them on (even before I buy them) I’ve already got a very complicated relationship with any item of clothing that I end up wearing.

I also (before anyone helpfully suggests this) can’t source any of the things I need in charity shops. They just don’t exist. I’ve looked. A lot. Ebay is also seriously hit and miss and it can be very hard to return new items that aren’t suitable or 2nd hand ones.

The objective side of me knows that today I’m looking with tunnel vision at the cloud within my silver lining.

Optimistic Davey (who unfortunately seems to be on a hiatus today) would say that it’s awesome that I’m no longer stressing about whether or not I can get rid of my fat – and that I’ve moved forward in my journey enough to be at a point where I’m instead managing the practicalities of what is essentially success.

These real world issues however (and some other unrelated stuff) are getting me down today though.

I feel added pressure to find a job for instance, not just for obvious financial and self esteem reasons but because my smart clothes are already beginning to feel big. My trousers keep sliding down (they did the other day as I stood up to leave a job interview) and I’m at the final notch on my brand new (£40) belt.

On the bright side though I can re-use the rather nice tie and comfortable shoes that I bought and buy a leather hole punch for my belt to make a new notch.

Normally around about here I’d have a literary turnaround moment where I’d look at the joyous aspects of being thinner and the added life expectancy etc – but today I just feel the pressure that only things like money and career worries can supply. I’ve lost sleep thinking about it all over the last couple of nights – and nothing will make you lose your mojo faster than having less downtime than you need.

I hope I get a better sleep tonight and wake up with a refreshed sense of perspective.

Hopefully then internet normal service will be resumed.



  1. Hmm, it’s tough one. I do a lot of my shopping from Asos, and although they don’t have a huge amount of styles I like they are fairly reasonably priced, and for £9-something a year they do unlimited next day delivery and free returns. Sometimes I order things in a couple of sizes and send back what I don’t need. You can even choose to have a courier come to your house and pick the unwanted items up. I had a quick check and they do have a Plus Size section for the men too.

    Also although not ideal (and it’s another expense) you can buy a leather hole punch contraption from eBay for about a tenner, so that could extend the lift of a belt for a good while! I’m looking to get one myself as I need extra holes in a pair of shoes that have never done up properly.

    In the meantime I hope you manage to a good sleep tonight!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for checking all that Hayley! How nice are YOU?!

      I’ve found a belt hole punch on Amazon that looks like it will last for around the same price and I think I’m going with that. My belt is really good quality (as you’d hope it would be for £40!) and I don’t just want to hammer a nail through it lol!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. it’s quite the problem to have… but I understand where you’re at. You don’t want to spend a fortune on clothes you’re only going to be ‘passing through’. I don’t have any suggestions, I’m afraid. But I hope that the ‘cloud’ thinking will pass and you will soon be back in ‘silver lining’ territory again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too. I try not to be pessimistic but I guess it’s unhealthy to not have days like this occasionally.

      After all – if we don’t have crappy days how can we really appreciate the good ones?

      Tomorrow is another day. For the moment I’m just going to climb inside the wardrobe (as a friend of mine used to say on off days) and shut the door. 😏

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Welcome to my world Davey. I have no idea what size I am now as they differ shop to shop. A supermarket size 20 is too small despite my weight loss whereas a ‘larger ladies’ outlet size 14 is a good fit, and as for tops or bras? Thank god you don’t have to wear the latter! Even the straps fight back and I was measured for mine by a professional!
    Primark for me and Hubby mate. Wear until it fades/falls apart/shrinks/ then throw it away, buy new. With joggers at £5 a pair, and tee shirts at two quid, mix and match here on the boat and comfort rules and kitted out for at least six months.
    We had a clearout today of everything that no longer fits, and surprise surprise, found a whole mountain of socks plus something very strange called a skirt (haven’t worn one for about three years). With a wedding to go to in July, we need smart outfits, so I am saving the pennies as no doubt for something half decent, even if just for The Day, will cost us an arm and a leg.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel your pain. Acutely. I wish there was a Primark option I could take but sadly there isn’t. I’d love a pair of joggers for a fiver!!!

      Good luck with the wedding clobber though – I know from experience that feeling good in that situation can be a hard task!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I recognise the problem and fear of buying clothes online. I ordered my first ever article about 2 days ago and it fit. I looked at the Debenham website and like most Dutch sites they accept returns for free. You do not have to pay shipping if you return it.
    So this might be a better option than you think. Also, the clothing will usually have a sizing chart in inches or cm so you can measure yourself to see which size you should get. 🙂 This makes it a little easier than just grabbing an arbitrary size 3xl of the rack not knowing if it will fall small or big :). So perhaps you could give it a try after all?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yesterday I went a little nuts, partially because (for more reasons than just clothes) I was in an epic mood.

      I threw caution to the winds and bought myself 3 new 4XL shirts from my usual retailer in a sale. I got home after already trying them on and guess what – they all pinch a bit round the waist when I sit down. 😡

      Not really an issue mind you – they’ll fit perfectly soon enough.

      Then I went browsing around Jacamo online, found a sale AND a 10% first order discount and bought two 4xl tee shirts and two pairs of 50in waist jeans (currently my one remaining pair of 52’s are becoming loose and my others are 54’s). I’m hoping that this all means I still have something to wear now and will have a smooth transition into what comes next…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha from no buy to buy it all. Yep sometimes you just have to give in I’m afraid.
        Rather than donating those close to charity have you considered selling them? As you say yourself: you hardly wear them and there aren’t a lot of them available on ebay. So you might be able to help others out with a tight budget 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You’re not the first to suggest that but honestly the hassle associated with 2nd hand clothing (low cost / high postage as a lot of it is HEAVY, eBay fees and people wanting returns) just makes me stressed thinking about it!

        I’ve tried it before (I eBay quite a bit) and the last time it was a real PITA.

        At least if I give it to charity a needy old person gets a good meal and/or company or support.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Ah fair enough. Here we have a Dutch website where you can give people the option to either have it shipped at their own expense or they can come and pick it up. 🙂 So far I have sold three dresses and everything was smooth sailing. Don’t you have something similar to that in the UK?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Firstly, I’ll ask The Boy where he just got his shirts. He’s a good 3-4XL currently and has the added ‘advantage’ of being 6ft5 which means it’s really very difficult for him to find stuff.

    Have you also looked at finding someone locally who can alter the nicer items that you’re having to bin due to having lost huge amounts of weight? If you’re like me, a lot of your stuff will be so old there will be no point, but every now and again something comes up that you’re attached to. Or, with all the things you’re having to buy, it may mean they last longer? A tailoring shop may be expensive but you may find someone who works from home to earn a little extra.

    I also want to say that I understand entirely the feeling. I chucked out so many clothes when I first lost weight. Then sadly I regained it and I now only have a handful of things I can squeeze into. I refuse to buy more because it’s too expensive when I want to shrink more anyway, and until I am at my target weight (or there abouts), I can’t justify the expense of buying more. Like The Boy, I also have the added ‘advantage’ of being tall. I am 6ft. It means that most high store clothes don’t fit and so I have to go to specialist places which hike the prices.

    Always feel you can moan on your blog because there is always going to be someone (or very many people) who understand your point of view. This journey is rewarding, but it’s also really bloody hard some days. I hope your normal positive self returns quickly – for your own peace of mind and not for anyone else.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Don’t worry – the pendulum is swinging upwards again 😄

      To answer your questions – I haven’t found an independent tailor that works from home and honestly I can wait to see the back of some of these clothes they’ve been sitting in a suitcase for almost 10 years waiting for me to get around to this and I have virtually zero emotional attachment to them – quite the opposite actually.

      I’ve since found a few places that readers suggested and have purchased a couple of items from them to try out – we shall see how that goes!

      Thanks for the comments! x

      Liked by 1 person

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