Today is a complete first. Since April 16th I’ve not slept properly on a Friday due to worrying about weighing in on a Saturday – but last night I had Primo Grade A Five Star Excelsior Class Luxury sleep (with bells on)!
I woke up this morning feeling absolutely smashing and have been dancing around the kitchen to LMFAO – Party Rock Anthem (to quote Billy Crystal in When Harry Met Sally) ‘with the white man’s overbite’ and tidying the decks before heading off to Slimming World.
I must admit – this lack of worry is a little unsettling. I wonder if my theory about it helping me lose weight will hold true and I’ll falter without it… Only time will tell!
Mind you, as I reflect upon my words I realise that it’s amusingly typical of me to worry about not worrying enough…
(still jiggling and dancing author makes coffee to go and heads off)
Well – somewhat unsurprisingly after all my walking and working out this week I’ve ‘only’ lost a pound today. What is however more surprising is that I’m not upset. Not even a little bit.
The truth of it is that I feel so darned good at the moment that I really don’t care.
The spring in my step that I noticed whilst walking to group this morning is something that has been cumulatively more noticeable as the week has progressed. Even though I didn’t feel particularly unfit before I started trying to fill all of my Apple Watch activity rings every day for a week I definitely feel different now. Although the challenge in my app runs from a Monday to a Sunday I’ve actually already (by the end of today) done seven days in a row with significantly increased cardio activity.
I may be imagining it but my clothes also feel a bit looser and I’m on the cusp of being completely comfortable in a 4XL shirt. It fits and I can sit down in it if I breathe in a little!
Plus – my other cause for happiness is the nine and a half stone certificate I received this morning!!!
Often I can forget how significant the amount i’ve lost is – but sometimes I’m reminded that this is an unusually large sum in anyone’s book (largely when people say so!).
For the benefit of Europhiles reading this (nearly) 134lbs equates to (almost) 61kg.
I tried to find a visualisation for this last night on http://www.ilostwhat.com – which allows you to pop in the pounds you’ve shed and gives you an amusing real world visualisation of what you’ve managed to get rid of. Some of the ladies from group have posted some impressive items on our Facebook group – which have really made me stop and think several times!
This is what mine says.
For those of you with poor eyesight let me zoom in a little.
It appears that I broke the logic behind the site…
So the only thing that I can do is do it twice. In this case I appear to have lost a small horse and a championship trophy awarded annually to the US National Hockey League playoff winner (I admit it – I Googled that… It’s a hefty piece of silver!)
But, you know what? It gets way way better than this.
This morning I can honestly say that I’ve felt like part of a family.
Members that I haven’t seen for a while have returned, ladies who come every week have been there as usual to say hello and natter about how they’re doing, there have been many hugs (I love hugs!), I’ve talked to people who I genuinely find inspire me to come every week, plans were made for coffee and walks, instant message chats arrived in my inbox from people spontaneously reaching out with offers of support and encouragement, and I even had an impromptu meeting (totally by accident) and lovely chat in Costa Coffee later in the day with a fellow ‘groupie’.
So – I’m not even going to try and talk myself down from my usual emotional ledge about not losing as much as I want to because I truly don’t care.
Everything about today and the people I’ve talked to has reminded me that what I’m doing can’t simply be reduced to numbers on the readout of the scales. It’s fundamentally more profound than that.
I have a life now – and a good one. Day by day by choosing the right paths I’m making that life fuller and more joyful. I’m becoming part of the world in a way that (even when I was thinner in the past) I never did before, and in turn I’m being enriched by the people and places within it.
It’s a great time to be alive. At this moment, right now, in my trousers, typing on my laptop and feeling happy.
Also – I have another (possibly even more profound) cause for celebration – but one which I am still being rather cautious about. I’m not feeling completely triumphant just yet.
Earlier in the week I completely forgot to take my diabetic medication. I also forgot to test myself on this day, and thought ‘no problem – I’ll do it tomorrow’.
The following day arrived, and my blood sugar was still good – sitting right where it should be. I picked up my tablets and was just about to pop one out of the blister pack and put it in my mouth when I thought ‘I wonder what will happen if I just… don’t?
So I didn’t, and I haven’t ever since.
BUT – I must point out that I’m not being stupid about this. Just stopping medication is silly, so I’m not only testing myself every day, but called the doctor to discuss what I was doing, ask candidly if what I was doing was silly, and whether there was anything I should be cautious about.
So far it seems that as I’m testing myself daily and things are ok. I’m apparently doing all I can do to ensure that I won’t harm myself and I have my GP’s blessing.
The doctor (having not read my notes thoroughly before calling) also nearly metaphorically fell off his metaphorical chair when I told him that I had lost nine and a half stone and now walked around 40 miles a week. After metaphorically picking himself up and metaphorically sitting back on his metaphorical chair he told me that I had a ‘proper’ HbA1c blood test scheduled in March anyway and would shortly after have my regular check up with the diabetic nurse to confirm and discuss my results.
March will therefore be my moment of truth.
Unless my levels go haywire in the meantime I’m not planning on taking any Metformin between now and then. I will try to manage my condition by diet and exercise alone.
Could it be (please please please please let it be so!) that I have managed to exercise and diet my way OUT of type 2 diabetes?
If it is then I may just have given myself the gift of life in the last 10 months.
So – I’m really really happy with my 1lb loss, and all of my cardio this week. I’m happy as well that I’m surrounded by positive, kind, thoughtful and loving people. No matter what the future holds and whatever difficulties lie ahead I know that I’m more prepared now than at any other time in my adult life to face what’s over the horizon.