Extra ventilation

This last few weeks has seen the demise of a couple of old acquaintances.

Thankfully they were not people, but elderly denims that did not appear to have benefitted from being locked away in a suitcase for almost a decade. They’d survived time, but unfortunately when I heard the tearing and ripping sounds that accompanied bending over or crossing my legs I realised that they would not manage to survive me.

Comically I tore a giant hole in precisely the wrong place on the most recent pair, although I can say that the sudden ventilation was refreshing if nothing else.

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These were my last but one pair of 56in waisted jeans – and the only other ones I thought I had left have amusingly (to other people, not me) long legs. When I bought them I’m sure I was under some kind of delusion that I was a basketball player – and now the only way to walk around the park in them (as I did this morning with Boris and my friend) is with deeply unfashionable 2-3inch turn-ups.

I’d come to the point that I thought I was going to have to buy more clothes – but since money is exceptionally tight these days I really don’t want anything that isn’t ABSOLUTELY necessary. Buying something that I know will probably last me a couple of months is just annoying.

I chiselled my padlocked wallet open yesterday and bought myself a cheap fleece jacket to keep me warm (but not sweaty like my waterproof mac) on my walks. The outlay wasn’t something I really wanted, but neither was shivering with just a shirt while walking in the cold either.

The jacket however is truly lovely. I feel as snug as a bug in a rug and I think it will last me through the winter until next year when I will probably need something smaller.

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So – I started browsing on eBay, looking for cheap and cheerful items like jogging bottoms and tee-shirts to accompany it that I consider to be relatively disposable. I found some that looked reasonably priced and paused on the sizing charts while I considered whether or not to buy them.

I started in 8xl tops and joggers in April – and I’ve been wearing my 6xl shirts recently. In my head this seemed about right. However, when my friend came over the other night she playfully tugged at the excess material on my upper arm and asked ‘when are you going to get some shirts that fit?!’

Truthfully they feel comfy and because of that I was surprised she said this.

I don’t like wearing tight clothes, and in my head I often think ‘the baggier the better.’ Maybe she had a point though – I’ve also been adding notches in my belts to hold up increasingly gravity obsessed trousers, and I might be able to get into something smaller.

If you remember earlier blogs, the largest pair of trousers I used to own came in a 66 inch waist, although usually I wore a (long suffering) 64 inch black pair. Instead of clicking ‘buy’ I looked up at the green suitcase on top of my wardrobe. It contains lots of clothes that still don’t fit.

Or… At least they DIDN’T USED to fit me…

I pulled it down from its resting place, unzipped it and looked at the clothes within. There was another pair of 56’s! and they had shorter legs! I pulled the light blue jeans on and did up the button.

Easily. Surprisingly so. Hmmm. I held the waistband up with my hand and walked to the next room to look in the mirror…

Well – thats ok – but maybe something smaller will fit?

I grabbed another pair – this time a 54 inch waisted pair of black corduroy trousers (also with surprisingly long legs – what was I thinking when I bought all this?!). They fitted too!! They weren’t tight either! I sat down in them to see whether they would cut off the blood supply to my previously well ventilated parts.

Nope – all was good!

I looked further down the now quite diminished pile. My absolute prize pair of trousers are some dark grey cargo/combat pants with loads of pockets up and down the sides. They’re super hard wearing, and I love them for one specific reason. I wore them on the walking holiday I went on in Cornwall before everything started going wrong and I put all of my weight back on.

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This is me, on that holiday in 2008 wearing those trousers. I also have the polo shirt that I’m wearing in that photo in the suitcase. I’d forgotten what size the trousers were – but it seems that they’re a 52 inch waist.

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They also fitted – although they need maybe another inch of weight loss to be perfect. To add to the joy of these fitting pretty much EVERY 5xl shirt in the suitcase is now wearable too.

The only ones I can’t get into have a 4xl label

I was going to take a full length photo of me in my cargo pants until I bent down to wipe a mark off the bottom of my mirror and the button unexpectedly broke on the waistband. It was bit of a surprise as they didn’t feel tight – so maybe buttons get old too.

Consequently the only thing I actually ended up buying off eBay tonight was a pack of 17mm trouser buttons to make a hasty repair. It’s best not to rush these things. I’ll try them on again in a few weeks. Surprisingly the button breaking hasn’t dented my mood at all. When I started Slimming World I couldn’t even get them up my legs!

So – this is both good and bad news.

It’s good news because of course I’m getting smaller all the time, and I now have access to a whole bunch of old clothes that were previously off limits to me.

It’s bad news because I’m going to have to get another job ASAP to keep buying replacements for things that become too big, wear out or tear. Nothing lasts forever it seems.

On the bright side in one pair of jeans I found some chewing gum.

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And who knew?! Chewing gum is still tasty and chewy a decade after being opened. Yay for preservatives in odd gummy food substances!

So – top tip internet. Never throw away your chewing gum – but beware of old denims wearing out when you least expect it!

The moral of the story appears to be that chewing gum lasts longer than clothes!

Oh and weight loss is ace! That too…

Davey

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7 comments

  1. Whoot! 😀 Yeay for fitting into new pants. The button might indeed have deteriorated or so. 🙂 Buttons and clothes will unfortunately do this.

    Have you considered taking the jeans of which the legs are too long to a tailor? 🙂 It usually costs me about 8 euro’s to get the legs taken in, so that might be a cheap alternative to eBay.

    Liked by 1 person

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