Today is a restorative day. A day of relaxation, hanging out with good company, drinking coffee and reading.
It’s also a day of triumph.
Some gentle ribbing from the ladies at Slimming World yesterday highlighted what deep down I already knew. That my only usable pair of jogging bottoms look like the legs and crotch were designed for use by MC Hammer and contain a lot more space than is currently required.
I’ve been trying not to buy new stuff – but I may need to concede defeat in this area. I’m going to have to see if I can find some cheap ones that fit me better.
In the meantime I decided to open…
For those that don’t know this sits on top of my wardrobe and at one time contained an insane amount of tightly packed and folded clothes from my smallest recent size to my largest.
In a recent blog I took much of what was previously in my closet to charity (loads of jeans and 8x shirts) and bit by bit I’m now moving into the lower end of my 6x tops.
My friend (over coffee) the other evening pointed out (before the women at SW highlighted the baggy ass in my joggers) that my jeans were getting too large, and she’s right. When I pulled my belt in there were folds of material bunching together and the front had started slipping out from under my belt, leaving me with a kind of marsupial pouch under my belly button.
The largest pair of jeans that I took to Age UK were a 66in waist.
In truth I didn’t wear these often. Something happens between 64 and 66 where the waistband suddenly gets very high. Effectively they buttoned up just under my boy boobs and it wasn’t a flattering look.
The pockets were also about 15 inches deep (no jest) and frankly wearing them made me feel both ridiculous and depressed, so I made do with the slightly tighter 64’s.
As I type I’m wearing a pair of black 56′ waisted jeans. They’re a little snug around the middle – but frankly I’m stunned that I did the button up without any effort. Another few pounds and they will be perfect. Until then I will proudly look a little bit like a muffin in a paper case.
If I’m honest they felt fine this morning when I put them on.
Their current level of increased tension is completely attributable to a Toby Carvery Sunday lunch earlier with my good friend and his kids.
His cheerful little lad remembered I liked his little blue plastic Fireman Sam binoculars from our walk around the park and brought them along so that I could play with them during lunch.
I also got a detailed demonstration from his sister about how to take a Velcro baby grow off her dolly and change it’s nappy.
Who knew dolls were so interactive these days?! It was an exhausting procedure!
Apparently the dolly had also seen some misfortune since I was first introduced to her on our park walk and had her arm was bandaged and in a sling (apparently after a mishap falling over – even dolls are careless).
The makeshift bandages and large silver ‘hospital tag’ she had carefully applied indicated that care was needed and the poor little doll needed some TLC as well as a new nappy.
I’ve very little direct experience of small children (having none of my own or in my immediate family) but more and more I find the way they see the world as something of a revalation. It’s like looking at things through an entirely new pair of eyes – or indeed a pair of little blue plastic binoculars.
Another friend’s daughter recently started school – and barely two months into her inaugural term I can already see the change in her. She talks more confidently and discusses her day at school with confidence and candour.
I was blown away at the difference when I saw her last week.
I want to be more like them. I resolve to worry less, enjoy more and see things with a fresh perspective.
I may not watch Peppa Pig so obsessively though. That’s a step too far I think.
Lunch was lovely – and I think there are few things in life that are more comforting than veg, sliced meat and a few roast potatoes. In Slimming World terms this Toby Carvery meal came to approx 10 syns, was incredibly filling and totally within plan.
I’ll admit to having a couple of plums for an ‘on the go’ breakfast before I arrived (courtesy of the kind lady who donated them to Saturday’s slimmer of the week basket) so that I wasn’t tempted to overeat when I got there.
I think I may have needed to ripen them a teeny bit more before I ate them though. They were a little sharp and crunchy!
The best thing to do after such a perfect afternoon is to have coffee – which I am doing at the moment.
I’m also reading John Steinbeck’s Grapes of Wrath at the moment (my all time favourite book is also by the same author – Cannery Row) which I’ve meant to do for about two decades.
I’m trying to decide whether or not I like the book at the moment.
Not only is it very different in tone when compared to my my much loved CR but (as with many things in life lately) I’m realising that with loosing weight, getting out more and having an active social life, what I once considered likes and dislikes were actually far more complex (and often largely unconscious) decisions that I’d made over many years based on what I could or could not comfortably do.
It seems even my taste in films and literature is not immune from re-assesment lately.
A good friend confided in me a while back that after birth and marriage had dramatically changed her life she found herself in a clothes shop several years later, confused and unsure.
When her friend asked what was wrong she replied ‘I don’t know what I like any more.’
I really related to this. I have a collection of things I THINK I like – but I’m not sure that any of those long held assumptions hold true any more.
Maybe this is why I love being with children lately. They are reminders that everything can be new and fresh – and that the only thing that stands between you and a new experience is often your own pre-conceptions.
If you tear these down then all possibilities are open, and everything feels new and interesting.
I feel good today.
It’s not just because of my jeans. It’s not even completely attributable to my Sunday lunch. It’s also not fully caused by my thoughts about child like wonder.
Sometimes it’s more simple than that.
I have my boots back, and my blisters don’t hurt so much.
Sometimes internet all you need to do is put on a different pair of shoes and that’s enough.
Sigh. Boots. ❤️