Motivation wise this week has been a tough sell in many respects. I’ve been hungry a lot, haven’t felt particularly energetic and appear to be attracting blisters like manure draws flies.
It doesn’t help that I’ve been wearing my trainers instead of my boots all week – which honestly still feel weird to walk in, and may well be the cause of my woes.
I think if I’m honest though I’ve also been guilty of naval gazing and over thinking things, which has led to a slump in my mood. I can sense when I’m doing this. I begin to withdraw a little bit and start shooting digital enemies on my Xbox a bit more.
I think too much sometimes.
Even though I usually feel my introspection is always with good reason it’s often been confirmed by close friends to actually be just me stressing about stuff that I should really just forget about and instead get on with life.
I wouldn’t talk to them about things if I didn’t expect them to tell me when I’m just being silly. Thats what friends are for.
They’re also there to make you feel better and laugh about yourself – as a close friend of mine did when she reminded me that it was only a sense of perspective that separates positivity from negativity, and likened this to a Terracotta Army made out of Lego.
At the time I laughed so much at the apparent randomness of this collection of words that I’m still smiling now – and then I Googled it.
This must have been the image in her head, because standing looking at this from another angle would result in a complete mess – but from the point of view of the photo things have depth and make sense.
You just have to find the right way to view your thoughts, and choose to see the positives, not the negatives. Friends are ace, especially when they make you realise that your fears aren’t as bad as they seem.
One rather good thing that grew out of my temporarily deep thoughts though was a miniature revelation of sorts (at least to me). It might be obvious to others but I’d never appreciated just how just comfortable some aspects of being hugely overweight were – and how much I hid behind it – particularly when it came to the subject of relationships.
Sure – I comfort ate (and drank) a LOT – and the weight that piled on was a symptom of many things that were initially psychological but ultimately became completely habitual.
However – being grossly overweight also gave me an excuse. People no longer wondered why I was single any more and I think they just mostly assumed that it was because of my weight. I didn’t have to worry either about people being attracted to me – it just didn’t happen any more.
Again, this may be blindingly obvious to some – but I never really considered it previously. Either way – I think I just need to leave the thoughts from my last post (here) where they are for the time being.
A lady at Slimming World shared with me after reading it that she had been certain at one time in her life that she’d never take her clothes off in front of anyone ever again – and then one day the right (and loving) person came along out of the blue and everything just happened naturally.
I need to not get hung up on body image and just be a leaf in the wind. What is meant to happen will happen and the universe will sort things out eventually.
I do have to make a little effort towards this though.
Despite not wanting to do it this week exercise always helps to get things in perspective. Somewhat paradoxically in an effort to get over the hump of not wanting to walk I’ve been pushing myself to walk more than I otherwise would (go figure) and this morning was no exception.
I woke up early for a Memorial Park walk with my friend and Boris, and decided that I would go for a walk before my walk (yes – a pre walk walk) and started striding half an hour early while the early morning dew was still drying and the shadows were still long.
It was a really nice day for it – and I had a great marching song playing on repeat. I’m little obsessed with ‘Party like a Russian’ by Robbie Williams at the moment. It’s my new favourite thing to exercise to and I can’t stop playing it over and over.
Before I knew it a mile and a half was under my belt and I was back at the car park in time for my mate’s arrival. Boris now seems to get quite excited when he sees me (it’s mutual – I love the little guy) and skips over to say hello, sniff me and get a stroke.
He loves fuss – so I doubt I’m entirely alone in getting this kind of special attention but it reminds me of why I love dogs so much. All of their feelings are on the surface. When they’re happy to see you there’s no hiding the emotion – they practically wag themselves to death.
Boris is a little more reserved though, as he can’t wag. Instead he nudges and bumps you until you have a hand on his head or under his chin. At this point its impossible not to stroke his furry warmth and its a win for both teams.
After three laps, much chatting, and a generous offer of gardening help (it’s like the set of Predator outside my back door currently) my friend and I headed off to our respective tasks for the day.
Mine was firstly PICKING UP MY BOOTS FROM THE COBBLER!!!
As the use of capitalising and italics suggests I’ve been looking forward to this all week – and the cobbler that Lockwoods recommended last week (here) appears to have done a sterling job on the repairs.
The new soles look extremely well secured and seem to be a very durable (although maybe a little generic looking) for the price (in this case £30) which is waaaay cheaper than new boots.
I still need consider the insoles suggested by Lockwoods. I plan to go back and at the very least try them out to see if they’re really as good for plantar fasciitis as the salesman suggested. It’s something for another day though as I arrived home (after hitting the unlimited salad bar at the local Harvester with other friends) just in time to accept a parcel from Virgin Media.
As I mentioned previously (here) my experience to date with their call centre has been less than stellar – and as a customer facing intermittent technical issues, a proposed increase in my monthly bill AND seriously crappy call handling on Sunday I wasn’t a happy customer.
In a move that’s very unlike me I took to Twitter and began the process of exposing their awful customer service in public. Although I didn’t expect the result to be any better than my slow and painful mauling by their Indian call centre it turned out to be a good route to take.
Clearly some companies recognise the damage that letting complaints go unanswered on Twitter and Facebook can cause.
An extremely helpful guy on their social media team called Joe set up a web chat with me (I was furiously typing away to him on my laptop in Starbucks) and managed to confound all my expectations by
- Offering me a new (and upgraded) modem free of charge
- Reducing my bill by £4 – wiping out the proposed £3 increase and making it cheaper than it was previously
- Not extending the term of my existing contract
- Upgrading my broadband speed free of charge from 50mb down/3mb up to 100mb down/6mb up
- Freezing the price of the package for 18 months
- Confirming everything we had talked about personally by mail
Of course all of this is relatively academic if the new modem doesn’t get to the bottom of my connection drops. After I finish this post I’m going to give it a go, so fingers crossed!!!
I don’t want to get up though. My blisters are killing me.
This is all because deep down I want to walk until my legs fall off if it means I loose weight tomorrow. As usual I have nothing but trepidation with regards to standing on the scales – and I’m trying not to dwell on it.
Instead internet I’m still sitting thinking about an army of terracotta soldiers made entirely of lego and smirking to myself. It’s all a sense of perspective – and I choose only to look at it from a positive one.
What will be will be.