The Unicorn Story

Motivation has been in short supply today. I started with enthusiasm, but this didn’t last.

When I woke up I felt great and thought that I’d walk to Leamington and go to Coffee Architects for dinner. This would be the central theme of my day. I could also have a look round the shops.

Today was going to be a WALKING day.

Then I checked the weather report. It was a cloudless day with ‘fantastic’ weather. Pretty much identical to the last time I walked there and I’m still peeling and scratching from the sunburn that caused.

I decided instead to have an eBay session and get rid of some old games while watching movies and do a bit of cooking.

I started the day well with some oats, yogurt and fruit for breakfast. It seemed like coconut would enhance this so I sprinkled the last of my desiccated flakes in with some cinnamon.

It was such a nice choice that I could have eaten it twice, but I had a large coffee instead. I was still really hungry though…

The eBaying was done in no time (how easy is it to list things with barcodes?!) and I settled into a Star Trek movie marathon, punctuated by hopping up and down to the oven to check on my bacon, mushroom, onion and broccoli mini quiches.

Today it seemed like I could do no wrong in the kitchen and everything I’ve constructed (including my lunch’s accompanying salad) has been delicious!

(yay for modesty!)

Unfortunately this meant by the end of The Wrath of Khan I had eaten ALL OF THE QUICHES.

‘Lunch’ ended up containing 5 large eggs, 5 bacon medallions, half a tub of quark and about 20 slices of sandwich ham – as well as a massive salad, broccoli, mushrooms, and an onion.

My day of walking (which had morphed into a chilled day at home) had now in no time flat turned into me stuffed with quiche and salad – falling asleep in the middle of ‘The Search for Spock’ and only waking up a few hours later after a fairly extensive food coma. I ended up feeling annoyed with myself and dissapointed up that the initial promise of the day had gone so downhill.

Although I have no real objectives at the moment I feel annoyed if my day doesn’t meet its intended purposes and this wasn’t what I wanted it to be.

The day had become ‘a unicorn story’.

(What’s ‘a unicorn story’ you may ask?)

Well – a good friend of mine made me belly laugh at dinner in the local Harvester a short while ago, and we’ve been bantering about it ever since. She started by laying out some tempting bait.

‘Have I ever told you the unicorn story?’

I blinked. A unicorn story?

‘Ummm…’

Surely I told you the unicorn story.’

I was drawing a blank. A unicorn story. It sounded memorable. I think I’d recall a story about a unicorn.

‘No – I don’t think you did!’ I replied – and steadied myself for a tale of wonder and magical creatures.

‘Well – I was at this wedding’ she said. ‘The drinks were ridiculously expensive – like £14 for a double vodka and Coke

‘Wow!’ I exclaimed. That was indeed a pricey drink. I leaned in further. She proceeded to describe the venue and who she was with.

‘I was with my best mate xxxxx and her friends and we were all chatting about the price of drinks and how expensive they were.’

I nodded. Agreeing. ‘I’m not surprised. That’s extortion.’

EVERYONE kept saying how dear the drinks were’ she said. ‘It was all people could talk about!’

I munched on my bowl of pickles and cous cous from the salad bar as we waited for the main meals to arrive. Angie swears by pickles for weight loss. I always eat them at the Harvester.

‘There was this guy – a friend of a friend – who keep saying that he had a bottle of vodka in his boot and asking if I wanted some.’

I nodded. He already sounded like a man with Rohypnol but I wanted to hear about the magical beast. I mustn’t judge.

‘Did you go to his car? ‘ I asked?

‘No – he kept on bugging me about this bottle of vodka. He kept coming up to me and asking if I wanted a drink.’

‘He sounds weird.’ I said. ‘Who has a bottle of vodka in his boot?’

‘I wasn’t interested at all. He was good looking enough but just kept pestering me about this vodka. He didn’t have anything else to say.’

I nodded. It must have been annoying.

She carried on. With such familiar company the wedding had been a pleasant one. The venue was also nice – and it was in a good setting, despite the financial consequences of such a cool location.

Our dinner had arrived by then and I tipped my salad bowl onto my Salsa Chicken Stack and mixed it with my baked potato while she talked.

‘So finally I asked him – where is this mythical vodka?’

My friend gesticulated with her arms. ‘I said – look mate – I could say I have a unicorn in my boot but it doesn’t make it true!’

She started laughing.

I couldn’t help but laugh as well. She has a witty turn of phrase combined with an extensive library of funny expressions and always makes me smile.

This however couldn’t go unchallenged.

‘So THAT’s the unicorn story?!’ I laughed. ‘I can’t help but feel a little conned! There were ZERO unicorns!’

We tittered.

‘I mean – it really should be called the story about the guy with vodka in his boot! He didn’t have a single unicorn!’

We couldn’t stop laughing. The waitress was looking at us.

‘Why on earth call it the unicorn story?! There were zero unicorns in it!’

We were both in stitches.

‘I mean – it should come with a sticker WARNING-  THIS STORY MAY CONTAIN NO UNICORNS!

Both of our funny bones had been tripped and after more gentle ribbing she finally conceded between peals of mutual tears of laughter that (as good as the content was) her story title might need some work.

We’ve been sending eachother pictures of unicorns ever since.

Screen Shot 2016-08-12 at 21.50.24

My day had initially promised walks and that was it’s intended theme. It ended up containing nothing of the sort and that annoyed me.

So – in honour of her ‘unicorn story’ I started writing this and laughing to myself all over again while walking round the park as the sun went down.

Although my day wasn’t all about walks, by the time I’d finished I was satisfied that it finally contained one, and can at least step on the scales tomorrow knowing that my total for the week is 15 miles.

Internet – I just hope I haven’t nailed myself too badly with my mini quiche binge…

LOL – Nevertheless I can’t be too annoyed with myself. I can’t stop thinking about unicorns.

‘Unicorn story’ my ass 🙂

Davey

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3 comments

  1. Morning my dear, I have set myself a task this week and that is to attempt to cook your mini quiches I’ll let you know how I get on. Good luck at slimming world darl and that reminds me I must up my walking your doing far better than me now xxxx👌👌👌

    Liked by 1 person

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