‘What a difference a day makes’.
As well as being a lovely song it’s often something I think about a lot – how you can wake up 24 hours after a significant event and feel completely different – or that your circumstances have changed dramatically.
It can be very poignant sometimes – but today it doesn’t ring true at all. In my case it should read a bit more like ‘What a difference three months of effort makes!’
In December 2014 my wonderful friend of many years got married and I had nothing to wear.
I looked online for some smart clothes (men like me can rarely walk into shops on the high street) to wear and bought a pair of trousers and a nice shirt.
When they arrived very close to the date of the event I was mortified. Neither fitted, despite what the label said. The shirt was a whole size smaller than my others and the trousers looked like Lycra leggings.
Eventually I went to the wedding in dark jeans and a shirt I wore all the time. It was a real low point.
It’s not the only time I’ve had cause to feel weight related guilt about a significant event like this – but that’s a story for another blog entirely.
This morning I woke up early and went for a walk around the park. Two laps this time, and only two benches. This is definite progress. The time it takes me to do two laps now is almost the same time it used to take me to do one.
It still tires me out though so I came home and had a short snooze in my armchair.
When I awoke I felt like I needed a new horizon, and it’s been many years since I tried to stroll around Leamington with no purpose.
Just walking for the fun of it. What a novel idea.
I parked in the same place as I did the last time I came into town (that time with a purpose) 12 weeks ago and started to meander to a whole different range of coffee shops.
The last time was NOT easy at all – and back in May I wrote about the experience of meeting my brother at the Fat Birds cafe.
It wasn’t a pleasant walk. I urge you to follow the link and re-aquatint yourself with how I was doing back then.
This morning I thought ‘why not just give it a go?’ Often the fear associated with things like this in my head is very different to the reality. Honestly I never know what it’s going to feel like until I try it.
After a quick shower I started to get dressed and reached for one of my usual shirts in the wardrobe. Then stopped.
What if… What IF the wedding shirt fits?
I took it off the hangar, pulled it on and buttoned it up. It fitted!!! Furthermore it felt nice and loose! The material was comfy too. It wasn’t cheap when I bought it.
I went into the spare room and uncovered my mirror. It’s hidden for a reason. I hate the ****ing thing.
Mentally I punched the air. It looked goooood!
This is the shirt JUST before my next size range. In a few weeks I can begin to burn my bridges and THROW AWAY ALL OF THE SHIRTS AND JEANS I WILL NEVER EVER EVER WEAR AGAIN.
So – now you know why that pic is important to me. So important in fact that I immediately sent it to my awesome friend, telling her it should officially be considered a wedding photo.
I’m not sure it will make the album, but y’know – better late than never!
Anyway. I’m now in a coffee shop.
The walk to here is relatively easy now compared to my previous blog. No sitting on the way, no burning legs, no fear of dropping dead – just a walk into town.
On top of two and a half miles around the park.
Sure – I still get out of breath a bit, and my legs tire still making me pause occasionally – but it’s a nice excuse to stop and look at shop windows and street signs, which today seems to have been placed in front of me with great serendipity.
Whatever you are or want to be – be a good one.
A day may make a difference but a victory won with sustained effort is infinitely sweeter when it arrives. Here’s to all the other shirts on the horizon and the next hard won milestone!