Apart from a brief trip out yesterday to get some essentials (mainly of the brown caffeinated kind) today is my first proper day out of the house since Monday thanks to the flu – and despite sniffing and coughing throughout today’s Slimming World meeting I’m glad I went.
If I hadn’t (amongst other things) then I’d never have been there to hear one of the ladies say that she takes her mind off food and keeps active by practicing archery in her garden.
My mind instantly filled with images of her housemates with apples on their heads – and I couldn’t help laughing.
What a great idea though – and how original! Kudos to her for finding something unique that works. All the walking back and forth to pick up arrows must also count towards body magic.
Talk about on target dieting!
As I sat and sipped my flask of coffee I listened to the rest of the group. Some others struggled this week and it seems I hadn’t been the only one that was ill.
Others were having difficulty with patting themselves on the back about their progress. Angie was quick to re-frame this and pointed out that having a steady weekly average was a very positive thing.
It’s a really worthwhile exercise to do to add up what little losses mean over time. In the case of someone loosing a pound and a half on average a week (after quickly totting it up on my calculator) in a year 78lbs is gone. That’s 5st 8lbs of weight that doesn’t have to be carried 12 months down the line.
Five and a half stone. Over 35 bags of sugar. That’s amazing!
It seems very odd (due to the regularity that it’s been happening) but in group Angie has been largely in step with my own thoughts over the last month or so when she’s done her presentations – and this week was no different.
Her group talk concerned image therapy, and considering the positives about ourselves – something that I had been going through when looking at my most hated photo in my last blog.
I could fill an entire post with things I don’t like about myself – but doing the opposite is often not so easy (although in this respect I am slowly getting better).
This is something everyone attending today agreed that they struggle with. Finding something about ourselves that we love can sometimes be really difficult – but it’s absolutely necessary to move forward.
I shared in group today that every previous time I’ve lost weight (and given up drinking, smoking, or other naughty things) I’ve used hatred of myself as a motivator. When I’ve reached a point where I could no longer look myself in the mirror that became the pivotal moment that I decided to make an effort.
This can be a really powerful motivator – and it can definitely produce results – but in my experience they come with a heavy emotional cost. Ultimately hating yourself to get things done is a scorched earth policy.
While outwardly it may temporarily get you where you want to be it has a terrible impact over time, and completely fails to deal with any underlying issues that caused the problem in the first place.
It also requires that you feel really negative about yourself for extended periods prior to anything good happening .
My experiences with my mother and her death earlier this year have starkly illustrated what hating yourself and others can ultimately do to a person – and how isolated and lost someone can really get when that’s their driving force in life.
For all the negative things surrounding that event the big positive that I took from it was a drive to better myself – and to take a positive path in life that would benefit others as well as myself.
Ultimately the last six months has all been toward that end – and instead of being made redundant from my job with feelings of self loathing and physical immobility in 3 weeks I (purely through re-framing my view and having already made positive changes) will instead have many burdens lifted and yet more time to focus on self improvement – both physically and mentally.
The key to recovery from any kind of compulsive or self destructive behaviour is learning to forgive and love yourself the same way you forgive and love others – and I like the person I’m becoming.
Angie finally asked us at the close of her talk to get a piece of paper and write down some positives about ourselves outside of the group.
I’m not going to write my list of things here (it doesn’t seem appropriate) but I AM going to write it down later in private just as she suggested.
Her session this morning was worth attending for more than just image therapy however – and (maybe thanks to the flu) I lost another 5lbs, taking my current weight to 31st 9.5lbs.
I have one pound to go and I get my three stone certificate!
I still haven’t gotten to the point where I can second guess how I’m going to do in advance though – and I was genuinely expecting something entirely different this week. I feel like I’ve eaten a lot – but what I’m doing way better than I ever did before is snacking on the right things.
I might eat a couple of apples if I’m peckish, or some ham pieces and (truckloads of) cherry tomatoes – but the alternative used to be a Cornish Pasty (28 syns) – so that in itself is progress. Coffee has also replaced cider – saving me 11.5 syns a pint.
Not that I’m recommending that anyone drinks several pints of coffee in an evening instead! 🙂
It’s not all been plain sailing lately though.
Honestly I am still really struggling with portion sizes – and sometimes feel like chewing my own arm off when I put on the plate what I think ‘normal’ people might eat. This is something that I think is going to be a constant battle for me.
Some days I do better than others in this respect and the ratio where I succeed and where I don’t is probably sitting at the 50/50 mark a the moment. I think I’m probably getting away with it for three reasons.
Firstly because I’m making sure that I am having a large volume of speed food, secondly because I’m cooking everything from scratch and thirdly because I’m usually way under my daily syn intake.
This isn’t because I’m restricting myself, but instead because I’m thankfully not usually craving the types of food that fit into the syn category.
I know that overloading my plate is something ultimately I’m going to have to be a lot stricter with if I want continued success – but for today I’m just happy with where I am, and looking at the positives.
So what are the they for the today?
- Despite feeling like crap I got up and went to group with a (broken) flask of coffee.
- I lost 5lbs and got slimmer of the week (while sipping my coffee from my broken flask).
- I bought a new Starbucks flask (its greeeeeen!) & filled it with a second free refill coffee after I finished the first one.
- I unexpectedly bumped into my brother and sister in law in Starbucks before they went on holiday tomorrow because I decided to go out.
- I had coffee with them – which is always ace.
- Did I mention coffee?
- And coffee. Can’t forget that.
Well internet that’s enough naval gazing for one day.
I’m only going to be happy if I keep this stuff up – so tonight Im going to cook myself chicken jalfrezi made from a bag of spices I got in the slimmer of the week basket (thanks to whoever popped that in there!).
It’s going to have some syns with the oil – but I’ve had none today and this seems like a great way to use them.
I’ve never made this before, so check back tomorrow or the day after to see if I was the master of culinary disaster or the architect of cooking awesomeness!