I can’t see any swanlings in the park so far. They seem to be absent and there are just a few ducks in their place. I like ducks though. They almost always move around in couples and I think that’s a lovely trait.
I’m walking before my weigh in to start my day on a high note and interact with the world. I don’t want another dark day like yesterday and positivity doesn’t happen by magic.
You have to go out and make the effort. Even if you’re not 100% feeling it.
I’ve been sitting by the river for a little while and feeling the cool breeze on my neck while I watch people go by. As usual I’m slowly moving from bench to bench. I have an hour before Slimming World and I’m in no rush. I’m Just taking my surroundings in with my customary flask of coffee.
Pleasingly I’m not so out of breath today and inch by inch I can go a bit further without sitting down. I’m half way round and I’ve used one less bench than normal.
This in itself makes me feel more positive.
At the moment I’m not sitting because I’m exhausted but just because it’s pleasant. The birds are singing and I can hear people playing football behind me.
Two teen goths passed me hand in hand a moment ago. Both were dressed completely in black apart from the girl’s single concession to cheerfulness – shiny silver converse pumps.
To ensure she otherwise remained in character her tall clear drinking flask contained a blood red smoothie which she sipped as they walked past.
Goths in love. Sigh.
I adore conscious Nihilism in unconscious revolt.
(Time to move)
Well – I’m back at the car and feeling pleasantly warm. I did the lap with 3 less benches than it originally took me when I first tried to do it – however I wasn’t going for any speed records today – just enjoying the activity so it’s probably not a like for like comparison.
If I’m honest I have my friend and colleague to thank for this. He reminded me with a text after last night’s post that I needed to get my ass up and do something this morning, although he said it in a much nicer way. He knows who he is and he gets a big Dave sized virtual hug 🙂
He was absolutely right.
Now. I must have a wee before stepping on the scales and offload my coffee. I don’t want it to ruin anything.
(Off to Slimming World.)
Well – SW is done for the day, and it was an emotional one – at least for me if not for others. Some were struggling today – and I feel their pain acutely.
I don’t care what your milestone is – if it’s something you feel you need to achieve then its something that’s not easy. It really doesn’t matter what everyone does with weight loss (although it’s easier to say than it is to accept) it’s just important that you stay to group even when it is really difficult to do so.
Whatever happens before or after THAT’S A WIN.
I lost a pound today – less than I wanted – but I’m trying to take my own advice. It’s been a difficult and emotional week and I’m frankly amazed I managed to loose anything at all. I’ve struggled with portion sizes and snacking – but crucially I’ve eaten within the boundaries of the plan and not climbed Mount Kebabnchips.
My one pound loss also took me over my two stone mark and I got a certificate for it 🙂 Part of me (the reserved blokey bit) thinks – I don’t need a certificate, but I totally really do with bells on it and a cherry on top. It means the world – especially when I’ve not been at my best – and it just reminds me what another friend and colleague said to me two months ago.
Even slowly moving forward is still moving forward.
This stuck in my head and I get a lot of comfort from that thought. It’s carried me through some tricky weeks so far and is so true. Since posting this all those weeks ago I’ve noticed others using the above picture that have read my blog (originally sent to me by my friend) and it’s a reminder that when you help someone – even in a seemingly small way – you never know how much that act is going to spread out into the world.
I mentioned it to someone at group thats been very supportive today – and if she’s reading I hope she takes it to heart and uses it to find her own strength.
You can do it 😉
Despite writing this blog and sharing it with people digitally I’m still not really comfortable in the physical limelight. Although logically I understand that’s all in my head I was dreading today’s group because it was their chance to choose their ‘man of the year’.
I have only been attending for a couple of months so it feels something of a con even to be considered – but its nice to be mentioned in the same breath as this. It was also a good opportunity to listen to the other guys too as we all described our own journey, and how we’d come to be sitting on the hateful little red chairs in the school hall.
Two of the guys there were following the plan both for their own health’s benefit and to support their partners, and it was really heartwarming to see how they were working together as a team. Another guy had really embraced the exercise aspect of the plan and was up and down Welsh mountains like a whippet on a weekly basis from the sounds of it.
I walked up Snowdon myself a few years ago and I know from experience it’s no mean feat. He makes me want to do it again.
They were all doing really well, and if I’m honest it spurred me on to hear their own statements agreeing that they couldn’t do it without the group – and the practical benefits of weight loss such as less snoring (which appeared to be a definite boon to the ladies!!!).
I’ve also noticed – but until today ignored – the fact that I too can almost breathe when lying on my right side in bed. I couldn’t do that before. This is progress! Maybe soon I’ll be able to sleep on both sides.
I shared my own thoughts with the group as we went around the men in turn – and decided to tell the unvarnished truth.
I wanted the silly little things in life. I wanted things like a bath. I can’t fit in mine at the moment and it taunts me every time I have a shower. I told them I wanted to avoid gastric banding, and how I couldn’t walk very far but it was getting easier every time. I mentioned my diabetes and my struggle with portion sizes.
As always no-one was anything less than 110% supportive – and if I ever needed convincing (I REALLY don’t) that I was in the right place for my journey today was a good reminder.
Then, rather embarrassingly Angie announced I was man of the year.
I’m not quite sure what to do with this info – and honestly wish I could split it with everyone there (although I’m not sure how the girls would take being men of the year!).
I’m instead going to take it for what it is. A massive and generous compliment from a bunch of people trying every bit as hard as I am to do exactly what I’m doing. If anything it means that much more coming from a bunch of guys and girls in exactly the same boat.
So internet – yesterday was shit and today is not. What’s changed? What made it appear different? Why am I not feeling so bad?
People. Pure and simple. Without them I would still be face down in my mental mud, and struggling to lift up my head. They rule. All of them. Hugs to the peoples.
Oh. And coffee. Thats good too. Big shout out to coffee.