Although I can’t currently wear their jeans, or sit on their trendy scooters I am even closer to being a brunch munching, loft apartment dwelling, socially networked hipster than ever before.
Not content with posting pictures of my pre-masticated meals on Instagram and Facebook to prompt the salivation of followers and friends I have now branched into a new area.
Today I was told in no uncertain terms by an employment consultant (hired by my company to ease its social conscience for sacking me) that I needed a Linkedin profile.
Vast revisions were also apparently required on my CV, which currently appears to be nothing more than a historical document containing irrelevant information from three decades ago when I was still finger painting at school.
It’s such a frankenstein’s monster, and so out of date that when I finally found it in a rather ancient folder dated about 8 years ago on my computer it actually made me laugh out loud.
Much of the wording on it was correct – but I’d clearly copied a friend’s efforts at the time and used his CV as a template.
I must have been in a rush to complete it (or lost the will to carry on) because under ‘Personal Interests’ it said ‘I am a keen sportsman and enjoy playing football.‘
Now the mid 90’s were pretty wild and I have a few blanks where memories should be – but I think I’d have to have been dropped on my head from a great height to lose my recollection of such pastimes.
Not even my ‘lost summer of 1995‘ could have accomplished that.
So – with this urgent need for revision in mind I’ve spent a little while setting up Linkedin and now (somewhat unnervingly) I have a presence on their confusing spider’s web of a site.
I have dragged myself into the hashtagged and twittered current age and I’m ready to repel boarders.
I’m not sure why this has taken so long (I blog everything in my life for flip’s sake) but a comment recently on the BBC news encapsulated how I feel about Linkedin. The interviewee was discussing the recent acquisition of the company by Microsoft and described them as ‘a bit weird and creepy’.
This has always been my feeling and I’ve vehemently ignored random e-mails and texts in the past to link people to my (as far as I knew) non-existent profile. As I’d never created an account I never quite understood why this happened. I think I may well do soon.
I’m still left in a confusing place though, as unlike some of my colleagues and friends I really don’t know what comes next, so I don’t quite know what to put on there other than a rather chubby looking photo.
I struggle to answer this question every time it’s asked, and apart from wanting to do something that’s creative or socially aware (ideally both) the world appears to be my oyster.
I’m wishing though that days like yesterday didn’t exist because they dent my confidence. Although I navigated my way through it I feel a bit shaken by the intensity of how I felt – especially later in the evening.
I think the last 24 hours is best summed up by this cartoon sent by friend and fellow Slimming World buddy.
Currently though I’m wondering if my sudden and excessively ‘skittish’ feelings and hunger yesterday were related to my pending involvement in today’s workshop. I know it was in the back of my mind all day yesterday, and I was thinking about what it would turn out to be.
Would I come out of it feeling better, or worse?
Honestly it’s a bit of both.
On the one side it was jam packed with practical tips on writing CV’s but not much in the way of guidance about what I could do to scratch the itch of my job type wishes. At best I’m left in a vague space with not much in it other than an ever growing love of writing (yay for that!), an urge for philanthropy and a current dislike of everything corporate.
I’m wiling to take to suggestions from anyone that feels like they want to give advice so comment if you have the urge. At the moment my life is an open road thats approaching a bunch of junctions almost completely without signposts!
Thankfully the one turning on my road that is well lit and inviting is Slimming World, and once again the responses that I’ve had to posts have been both helpful and generous.
Today I’ve taken the advice one member gave early this morning and hit the protein.
Food today has been all about ‘free’ cold meat with ‘speed’ and fruit, and it’s helped. I’ve eaten chunky ham pieces and lots of santini tomatoes with some apples for breakfast and dinner and they’ve filled me up.
Right now I’m sitting in Starbucks eating my evening meal with a large filter coffee. I originally boxed this up last night for lunchtime but I wasn’t hungry enough to eat it. Apart from a couple of bits of Heck chicken sausage its mostly Quorn and vegetables. it probably accounts for about 1 and a 1/4 syns.
Tonight I’ll be spending some time with a mate after further open heart surgery on my CV, and getting a (hopefully) early night.
There won’t be any danger or pain points if I can help it and it the fates are smiling on me I’ll not fantasise about climbing Mount Kebabnchips, get a better night’s sleep and awaken feeling buoyant about the future.
Fingers crossed internet!