Right. Thoughts for the day ahead.
Step one – remain positive & think positive thoughts.
Step two – do positive things.
Step three – be positive with others and create your own positive atmosphere.
Step four – celebrate successes and stay to group.
I need a mantra today – some kind of psychobabble to keep the negative moments at bay. These (made up as I type) will be my approach to the day.
So – firstly – Wrecked sleep.
If there’s anything that will undermine you it’s tiredness, and last night was a doozy. I went to bed at 11, was still awake at 12, got up to watch TV, went to bed again at 1.30am, tossed and turned then woke up at approx 4.30am WIDE AWAKE.
I was like this until 20 mins before I had to get up – at which time I fell into blissful slumber that was immediately destroyed by my alarm.
I don’t need to go into what I was thinking. Anyone reading regularly will know.
I’m boring myself writing and talking about it now – but it won’t go away. So – nuts to stewing – time to get up and go.
I need to weigh in.
(generously proportioned but disarmingly charming writer moves from home to the Slimming World meeting)
Today the group was fairly quiet – and a lot of people were passing through, clearly not wanting to stay to group – but bravely still weighing in. There were a few glum faces, a few relieved looks and a couple of new members that I’d not seen before.
I presented my card, took all items out of my pockets, kicked off my shoes and stepped on the scales.
One pound off.
I’m not going to lie – this felt unjust. I worked my arse off last week and I think I deserved more. There were no syns – no blow out meals, no sneaky additions, and seven miles of exhausting walking.
BUT – screw it. Rome wasn’t built in a day – and I was partially prepared for this. I had a big loss last week, and I can’t have that every week. It’s still 10lb in 2 weeks and I need to hold on to that.
As always the group was chatty when Angie started discussing how people had done.
Many it seemed were in the same boat this week – a lot of maintains, a few gains and a few precious and inspirational losers. It’s one of those weeks where you have no option but to dig deep and move on.
I actually got the slimmer of the week award – which I felt was a little unfair having lost only one pound – but it was nice to have nevertheless.
One of the really lovely things was a can of tuna in the basket – a fellow slimmer had carefully taped ‘1.5 syns’ to the top of it, to make absolutely sure that it wasn’t hoovered up as a free food and didn’t de-rail anyone. I thought this was really nice – as often the basket can be pretty bemusing!
This week Angie (and another on the FB group) cooked tandoori salmon – and it looked absolutely lush. In the basket was the spice mix to do this so I know what I’m having for tea tonight or tomorrow!!!
Thanks whoever that was if they’re reading 🙂
After the group, despite this positivity I’ll be honest and say I felt a little deflated.
Old me would take this and hibernate. Old me would buy food or alcohol, sit in front of a video game or box set and bury the feelings under some form of habitual behaviour.
New me wants nothing to do with this behaviour. Although new me aches all over from tiredness and exercise (and my effing plantar fasciitis) he realises that this can be remedied by getting off his fat ass and doing something.
Time for the park.
St Nicholas was busy today – and it contained friendly fellow Slimming Worlders doing their thing and burning off a few pounds, which was a nice little boost! It’s always worth remembering that someone else is also trying hard, and on their own little journey. I stopped to say hi and we swapped figures for what we had lost this week, wished each other luck for the next encounter with the evil scales of doom and moved onwards.
We’re all satellites in roughly the same orbit it seems – just at different stages.
So the walk was instantly different. Today I haven’t eaten much. Just a breakfast bar and some coffee, but wow – even without sleep I instantly felt more energetic.
Oddly this seemed to manifest itself most noticeably in recovery time rather than increased overall distance. Broadly speaking I was stopping almost as regularly (minus one bench!) but when I did stop my heart rate calmed faster and my legs stopped wobbling quicker.
I took about 5 minutes off my previous time!
Oddly the app thinks I did less steps per minute and burned less calories than last time but I forgive it’s blatant ignorance.
This was all very encouraging. On the way I also found the Swanlings (it’s my new word and I like it – ‘cygnet’ sounds like an item to purchase from H Samuel, not a fuzzy swan) from earlier in the week.
They appear to be doing well – and it occurred to me that they have a much harder life than mine, yet they seemed more than content with following mom and chasing chunks of bread.
They’re probably my favourite thing in the park at the moment and if I don’t see them I wonder where they are.
By the time I’d finished the loop I was feeling good. I’d had a positive chat on text with my mate while walking and wasn’t too puffed out.
Then I met little shit.
Little shit screeched to a halt on his bike near me and turned to his parent. He pushed back his orange bicycle helmet so that it was tilted and his forehead was clear of obstruction.
‘Mommy – look at that fat man!’ Little shit shouted, pointing at me.
She ignored him. They always do.
‘Look!’ Little Shit persisted.
‘Stop. Its rude.’ She eventually said, clearly embarrassed.
‘Why?’ Little shit said. His mother began to explain but I wasn’t interested. Its just too mortifying. I carried on walking.
I can never predict when this will happen – but it always does. It can take me from hero to zero in an instant and it’s followed me my whole life.
But not today. GPS was proving that things were getting better, so little shit can get lost. I’m not interested in his infant observations about excessive bulk.
But it’s not his fault.
It’s mine and its my job to fix it – and I am.
One day it won’t occur any more and then I won’t have to worry about it or cross the street to avoid the potential of it happening.
Now I’m sitting in my happy place. Starbucks. My flask is full of filter coffee and whats more I saved 50p as I brought my own mug.
This means that I get infinite refills for £1.25, which actually works out cheaper than filling my flask twice from my Nespresso machine at home – which is another win!
Anyway. I have some lawn mowing to do this weekend and I really don’t feel like it today – so that looks like it will replace my walk tomorrow.
I’m wondering if that too will be easier and I’ll have to sit down less while doing it. I’m also hoping the legions of little kids normally outside are elsewhere – which will make life a lot easier…
We shall see internet – we shall see!