Well it seems that self improvement is not always a smooth road, and after a week of following the Slimming World plan, not deviating from the foods I’m supposed to eat and actually exercising on top of it I have apparently put a pound and a half on.
If I was in any way expecting this I would probably be in a reflective frame of mind – but at this very moment I just feel pissed off and cheated.
I transferred the food diary that I update daily on my phone to the Slimming world planner this morning – and on paper it looked like a great week – certainly no different to the previous ones.
If anything apart from last Saturday when I had 3 wholemeal pittas as part of my lunch I’m positive I’ve had less than the previous week, which contained a beef rendang full of coconut milk and syns.
I’ve also not opened the loaf I bought a week ago. Zero bread – all week!
Bizarrely my clothes feel looser and I feel more lively. It just doesn’t make sense and I’m annoyed.
Despite what I said about staying to the group I just walked out immediately after stepping off the scales. I didn’t want a pep talk – I just wanted to grind my teeth. I know that this is not what I planned to do in instances like this and I feel like I shouldn’t have left the hall – but it’s what I did.
I didn’t exit stage left to go and stuff my face though. Far from it. I want to understand what’s happened here and fix it. Today I will be doubling down on my plan. This f***ing thing is not going to drag me down or beat me.
I can’t get over how angry I am though. I’m almost growling.
So is my stomach as it happens, reminding me that I have not eaten the breakfast I prepared earlier this morning – intended as a pleasant pat on the back upon my triumphant return.
As it happens I currently have zero appetite so it can wait.
I need to do something to take my mind off it and calm down. I’ll eat later. For the time being I’m just furious and that’s enough to sustain me.