Well, from a healthy eating perspective today went well. I’ll admit to feeling a bit peckish at work, but I’m wondering whether that’s because I didn’t stagger my mealtimes enough.
I made Chillizilla yesterday evening, and with some wholegrain basmati rice it’s fed me for both yesterday’s evening meal and today’s lunch and supper.
I also joined the ranks of Instagram hipsters that post images of their meals this morning when I uploaded my delicately plated non-sinful english breakfast for the edification of anyone that wanted to have a look.
Frankly it was flipping gorgeous and I enjoyed eating it twice as much knowing that I wasn’t going straight to fatty bum bum hell afterwards.
As I mentioned yesterday the consequence of the local Slimming World Facebook group page being so busy is that I’m continually being presented with images of tasty looking food. I’m sure it’s great when you need an idea or two to spice things up but I’m not 100% sure that I need to see a lunch and breakfast ticker tape feed 24×7.
Not for the first couple of weeks anyway.
I will need to see if I can filter the notifications otherwise I’ll probably find myself eating an attractive looking stapler at work when I have nothing else to hand. For a brief period this afternoon I’m sure I imagined my post-it notes bathed in thick steaming gravy…
Putting flippancy aside however I managed to draw a little smiley face in my food tracker for the day (theres one next to each line waiting for a mouth to be drawn) when I filled it in and felt like I’d done good. Currently because of this I feel satisfied and chilled out.
I’m also noticing that I’m becoming less insular recently (which is improving my mood every day), and I have a need to see people, spend time with them and get to know them better.
For quite a while (as I’ve admitted in my blog) I withdrew from people a lot, ashamed of what I felt I’d become, and now all my thoughts and feelings are on full view I’ve no reason not to reach out to people and suggest coffee, or react positively if they suggest it to me.
Currently it’s my new favourite thing.
Along with feeling stuff. Thats kind of cool as well.
Saturday was hard, but I’m really really happy that I came out the other side with a smile. I wouldn’t have recovered that quickly in the past, and its due to not drinking, writing stuff down and letting people help me more.
I am also consciously trying to celebrate successes – but still need to slap myself occasionally (and have others slap me) when I apply a negative subtext to a win.
A friend from work who I went for a drink with after we finished today (diet coke if anyone was worried) was keen to hear about my thoughts on healthy eating and exercise.
I talked with him for a while about how in the past I had created problems for myself and buckled under the weight of all my own expectations. If I’d not lost several pounds a week I had labelled myself a failure and removed all the positive perspectives.
‘If you loose half a pound a week then its still going in the right direction’ He said to me.
‘I’ll be f**king pissed off if I only loose half a pound a week.’ I said, not joking.
‘I need to do better than that.’
‘Thats the wrong way to think!’ he said, looking me directly in the eye. ‘Half a pound a week is almost 2 stone a year. One pound a week is four stone. It’s all in the right direction and it quickly adds up.’
He’s completely right. I’m mildly peeved that with my new positive mindset I didn’t do the math myself, but grateful that he was there to re-frame my perspective.
I am hopeful that after a few weeks of Slimming World I’ll naturally feel more active and things will organically begin to move toward a more active lifestyle. At the moment I’m petrified of hurting myself and I’m having difficulty moving past that.
BUT I’m serious when I say I have a plan, and this is just one of the steps. I’m being methodical, and fixing foundations before building another floor on top.
Anyway – I think I’m going to have an early night. Thanks to hefty volumes of caffeine consumed at home, in Starbucks, then in the pub and finally when I was gaming online yesterday evening my sleep was shafted.
Curiously though when I tossed and turned I wasn’t having nightmares, or negative thoughts. I was thinking about my blog and recipes for things I could make with all the ingredients in my fridge I don’t normally have.
It’s a nice change of pace. Long may it continue.
Love and a full English breakfast internet